Royal Issues
by WonderfulDreamer15
Summary: *Spoilers from The One* The life of the princes of Illea has been very beautiful, until the problems with New Asia intensified. Now, what everyone expects from America is to give them an heir, but she's not sure of being capable. What will their majesties decide? What will happen with their relationship? Will a prince be born or will Illea be threatened by a new and bigger enemy?
1. The emperor

**All the characters, story or references to "The Selection" trilogy belong to its rightful owner: Kiera Cass.**

*Please, please, please… I begged locked in the bathroom of my extremely big and beautiful room. As ridiculous as it sound, that little stick I had in between my hands would led me to discover my future and next responsibility, as if all my work wasn't hard enough.

-Three minutes, your highness! - announced Mary at the other side of the door. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

Negative.

-I think I won't need to eat for another one for now- I answered; I wasn't specifically sad or happy. No one wants to have a kid at 19, but the things change when you're the only and legitimate Crown Princess of Illea and everyone expects you to give them nothing but an heir. Maxon and I had talked this matter over and over again; we both had agreed to take some more time to be together and besides we had much royal duties to take care of. A simple chill came to me suddenly when I saw the calendar that morning, I was like 4 days late, I know! It sounds exaggerated but the servants have not even one discreet hair in their heads. When my husband found out, he ordered over a thousand exams, this was the most simple and the first one that gave me an answer, and we had to wait until the other one's results.

-Oh, well. We'll tell his majesty right away- with just that tiny phrase, I got out of the bathroom all the quickly that my bulky dress let me and I stood in front of Mary.

-I think… that I want to be the one who tells him- I said a little tired for all the running and fighting with myself to not laugh at the expression she held.

-As you say, my lady- she agreed, I smiled and went to Maxon's "office", that place, for me at least, was just a bottomless pit of horrible memories and unfair decisions, I hoped that my late father in law forgave me for what I thought, but I had always been the reckless, rebellious and rude America Singer and that wouldn't change now that he was gone to free us from his torment. I still missed Queen Amberly though, she was a very nice and good person, she deserved more in life than what she got, but she never knew.

-My love! Have you heard something yet? - He asked when he saw me enter the room; all the documents he had been reading flew all over the place.

-Yes, it looks like we won't have to start changing diapers any soon- I assured him, he sighed and I took that as a: "Thankfully!" He noticed my little anger.

-Don't misunderstand me, honey. It's just that thing are a bit difficult right now and…-he was going to say, but I didn't let him, I knew the speech very well, I approached him and put my arms around him.

-It's not time to have a baby, I understand, Maxon, I do. But we'll have one someday and you'll have to be ready. - I reminded him, he kissed my cheek.

-I know, my love. But I trust that that will happen later, much later. Until that, we can leverage our lonely marriage a bit more…- he said making a space for me above his desk.

-Oh, Highness! How do you dare? You have much unfinished business to attend!-I laughed while he searched the closure of my dress.

-Don't you worry, your highness! Right now I'm taking care of the most important business… and frankly, this is the one that I love the most…- he said with a playful smile, and I finally gave up in his arms, without thinking who could hear us or what would happen, in that moment, it was only about us.*

That was a year ago, I still remember like it was yesterday, that was our first "Baby Warning", it repeated about 5 times. Today, I had 20 years old and the pressure for having a child wasn't something I cared about very much. And why do I tell you this? Because it's the beginning of this part of my life, which I did not like so much. It all started when Maxon called me one terrible day to help him with something.

-How may I serve you, my royal husband?- I asked while I bowed him, I wouldn't have called him that if it wasn't for the three of his much diplomats who were there with us, I had to follow the rules.

-Highness- greeted me Mr. Leeroy with his strong voice that could scare even the bravest man on earth. According to what Maxon told me, he was the head of that group of lunatics, who apparently hated us for some reason. I forced myself to contain my laughter when I heard him and I looked at Carter who was next to my husband, but he was in the exact same situation. Maxon seemed somehow concerned and that calmed my impulses of dropping a scandalous laughter not proper of a future queen.

-Get to the point, can you? I hope you be very understanding with this, my love. - He begged me and that only managed to make me shake even more.

-Something wrong? - I asked sitting down in the nearest chair.

-Not exactly, highness- assured me Mr. Phillies, trembling as always.

-Then, why do you all look like you've seen the devil itself? - I asked, I did not like that much mystery and I was starting to get nervous.

-As you know, princess, since King Clarkson and Queen Amberly died, they both might rest in peace; we've had some trouble with the territories of New Asia and that has officially gotten worst- Leeroy announced, I scowled. It was true, since Elise didn't get the title of princess, the conflicts with New Asia went from bad to worse, now the emperor had us corralled and for those three years we had not managed to decipher what was that he wanted.

-What can I do to help you, your Highness? - I asked to my husband, he sighed and ran a hand over his hair, a gesturer from him that I loved crazily. But Mr. McAffle answered before him, that man was very impulsive and had no shred of patience.

-An heir, you Highness- that terrifying diplomat announced, I was blank, not sure of what to think or answer.

-I don't think I understand it…- I said brokenly.

-Look, honey. What the emperor wants is to finally seal the deal with Illea but he says he must be sure it's a deal that will not break. He wants a marriage, America, he wants it at all costs and as I am no longer in a position to marry, he requires our first son to marry his niece who is about to be born when they both are old enough, like that we'll be allies. Only that way- Maxon explained. I was not sure that it was a good idea, in first place because I would be selling my own and unborn child as a tool to stop a war, in second place because of the problem that, if in any case I ended up pregnant, we could not make sure that it was a boy the result and the emperor wouldn't find very funny that I suggest a marriage between two girls, in third place, the agreement was the most stupid, childish and unnecessary thing I had ever heard of.

-I understand, my lord. But I must ask, are you willing to break the tradition of The Selection and proceed to fulfill the emperor's requirements?- I asked with the strongest voice tone I could pretend, I was at a second of falling apart.

-I don't know, dear. That's why I've brought you here; I need to know what you think about this. - He said approaching me.

-Oh, and let me inform you this, my lady. The birth of the future heir to the throne will also benefit your majesties, and your child will become Prince of Illea and you will be taking the position of kings-said Mr. Phillies. The court had tested us since we had gotten married, Mr. Leeroy had commented that we were both too young to become kings, which was pathetic as Maxon was the only one suitable for the position , but they decided to help the prince with his tasks until they were sure that he was ready. This was just another part of their constant tests, they wanted to see how far we could get to please our people and the people who counted on us, as king Clarkson had done with me on that terrible "Day of judgment", it was obvious they were very much in love with Maxon's father and were not at all agree with us.

-We perfectly know that, Mr. Phillies, but that's the least important now. What do you think, dear? - Maxon asked holding my shoulders.

-Highness, If I can be honest with you…- I started to say but he tensed.

-Be all the honest that you require, my love. - He answered.

-Maxon, it's our son that we're talking about and I don't know if you've noticed but…-I said lowering my voice, I realized in wasn't very convenient to make such a confession in front of those 3 irritating gentlemen, I made Maxon a signal so he got closer to me- I'm not very good at the art of conceiving- I whispered and he chuckled.

-You're very good at it, America, I assure you- he whispered with a mischievous smile, I also laughed.

-If your Highness allows me, I would like to have some more time to discuss this with you in private- I announced to the rest of the people in the room.

-Take all the time you need, honey. I understand it's hard and I guess these distinguished gentlemen will have no objection to the suggestion of the Princess- he said, kind of threatening, I loved when he did that, he looked like a total king.

-As you wish, Highness- Leeroy replied with a grimace of distaste for my husband.

-I just remind you, princess ... the situation is delicate and you must make a decision before the emperor decides that he does not want any kind of relationship with our nation- McAffle said trying to get me nervous.

-I understand your concern, sir. But I remind you that we have been trying to fulfill this arrangement for three years and he has not shown interest in this particular situation, I do not think he sees himself in position to rush our decisions.-I could see how I left them all awe, except for my husband who smiled triumphantly, Carter said: "Nice job" with his lips, I giggled.

-Y-Yes, Your Highness- He hesitated.

-So, as I asked for a little more time to think, I ask your highness's permission to excuse me for you to keep working on you business- I said, getting up from my seat and smoothing my dress, I did not want to continue in that room and I didn't like the idea of abandoning Maxon, but he did not escape, or at least I could not think of one.

-Granted, my love. See you at lunch- He said, I bowed and went out to meet Marlee.

-Are we going to have a baby? - She asked with a huge smile on her lips.

-I think maybe ... yes- I said nervously, she squealed with excitement and hugged me. I had to think and think very hard, but after all, it ended up not being exactly my choice.

**To be continued...**

_**Dreamer.**_

How are you, my readers? So what do you think of my idea? One cannot stay without writing anything after reading "The Selection"! So, I decided to make a fanfic, hope you like it, you may suffer a little, but I guess I have a talent for writing rather dramatic things that have end beautifully happy ending, so don't you worry. Well, let's see what you think about it and as they say I decide to continue it or not.

Thank you for reading! Bye!


	2. Something somehow little

***Two days later***

-And… Princess Nicoletta is planning to visit you soon, Highness, Would you like to send a message for her…? - I don't remember if I was hearing Silvia's prattle I was too busy in my own thoughts.

I was dreaming about a little blonde boy with blue eyes, a tiny prince running around the palace calling for me, I imagined holding him in my arms while I sang to him so he could sleep; I thought about playing with him in the gardens and giving him kisses when he had hurt himself. I also could see him running to meet Maxon, my husband holding him high and saying how much he loved him. I was surely in love with that thought of mine.

-Looks like someone has her crown on the sky…- said Marlee laughing next to me.

-I see… what exactly are you daydreaming about, Highness?- Silvia asked while I was still trapped in my imaginations.

-Baby…- I answered without noticing, and then I was terribly ashamed. Marlee laughed even harder.

-Well, you could first think about your responsibilities as the princess and then you may think about having children- she said hitting me softly with her agenda, I smiled. She sometimes reminded me of my mom.

-I'm very sorry. What were you saying? - I apologized.

-Oh, I would lie to you if I said I'm not as excited as you, your Highness! So… you're going to accept? - She asked with the biggest smile I had seen her with.

- I wasn't exactly in love with the idea of marrying my kid with someone just for stopping the war. But I cannot stop thinking of my little prince…- I confessed.

-Oh, God. It's the maternal instinct! - answered Marlee, I could lie and say that I wasn't a bit scared about her comment, but I'm a terrible liar.

-Finally! You don't know how long we've waited for you to feel like that, princess- said Silvia. I was surprised.

-Really? - I asked. How many times had we had the "Baby Alert" and how many times had it been negative? They sounded really desperate.

-Of course! You fooled us so many times about a pregnancy that now we don't know what to think! - She answered. God, I was mean.

-Sorry about that. But it's really hard to be sure…- I defended myself.

-We know, but now, I'm sure that they won't get their eyes off you; we have to have a baby at all cost! - said Marlee sounding really convinced.

-I hope so…- I said a bit worried.

-You hope? Why do you say that, Highness?-asked Silvia not looking excited anymore.

-Because it has been so many times of thinking that I was pregnant when I was not, I'm a little scared that it repeats…- I said.

-Oh, America! Don't worry; I'm pretty sure that… those things only happened because you weren't sure about having a baby, but now that you actually want one… I'm sure it'll happen this time! - answered Marlee as positive as always, I wished I was more like her, seeing rainbows and flowers wherever I went to.

-May God hear you, my friend- I said and they both laughed.

-Oh, quit it with the chatter! We've things to do! - reminded us Silvia.

-Ok, so… Princess Nicoletta? - said Marlee trying to get me into the conversation again.

-What's with her? - I asked.

-She's visiting you next week, Highness. I was asking you if you'd want me to send her a message or something- Silvia answered.

-Right, I'll… write her a letter tomorrow so we can catch up…- I assured her and before she could say something someone knocked the door of the Women Living.

-Knock, knock- our visitor announced. I turned to see who it was.

-Aspen! - I said and ran to hug him.

-Highness!-Silvia scolded me.

-Princesses do not run to hug their ex boyfriends- Aspen ended her sentence, I laughed.

-It's so nice to see you! - I said happily.

-You too, Mer. Silvia, Marlee- he greeted.

-Officer Leger, I have to remind you that you have to speak properly to her highness- Silvia said, I scowled.

-Right, Sorry, princess…- he apologized.

-To hell with that! You're my best friend! - I reminded him. If he was so close to me, why would he have to treat me as his superior?

-Thank you! - said Marlee sarcastically.

-Well, you both are and Carter too. I'm so glad you're back! - I said taking him to our table so he could sit down a bit, he looked tired.

-It's good to be back, Mer! - He assured me and I smiled.

-I think I'll give you some time, princess- excused herself Silvia, she was so nice with me, sometimes I felt bad for being such an irresponsible princess.

-Thank you- I answered.

-How's New Asia at this time of the year? - asked Marlee curiously, Aspen had been sent to a mission in New Asia like a month ago, it had been really hard and sometimes dangerous, Lucy was about to lose her head, no one could blame her for missing her fiancée, yes, they were going to get married until Aspen had to leave.

-Spring is a good time to visit New Asia, you know, If you like violence and people stalking you all day long- he said, I hit him softly.

-He's just playing around with you. I'm sure that you enjoyed a little…- I answered, he smiled.

-It's really nice I have to admit it. But "there's no place like home", Mer. - he reminded me of a movie we had watched when we were little.

-Right and sure you won't be leaving again any time sooner- I kind of ordered.

-No, ma'am. I have a beautiful girlfriend to take care of- he winked at me.

-And Maxon perfectly knows that, he's very sorry you had to leave Lucy- I said.

-Tell him not to worry! In fact, he even helped me. I didn't have to chance to buy Lucy her engagement ring, so… here it is- he showed me a ring with a purple diamond, simple, pretty, perfect.

-She's going to love it- I assured him.

-Thanks, but let's stop talking about me…- he said a bit worried, I got nervous.

-Something wrong? - Marlee asked.

-I heard about the emperor, are you going to do it? - He asked me.

-Not because I want my son to get married but yes-I confessed, he looked a little angry.

-Mer, this is so unfair…- I knew he was right, but how could we escape the emperor?

-I know, Aspen. But I would be glad to have a kid…-

-A kid whose only purpose is to stop a war?-

-I don't like the idea either… but Maxon said it was the only way-

-I think you're the only one here who has proved that there's much other ways than we know. Am I wrong?-

-Well, that was before I was the princess, I have rules to follow…- I answered sadly.

-When have you followed the rules, America? - Marlee asked.

-See? - agreed Aspen.

-Exactly! I have never been obedient and that only led to trouble!-

-Justice comes with a price, America. Do you really have no heart left? - He accused me, but at that moment I was blinded with anger.

-Is that really what you think about me? That I'm a bad person? - I wanted to know, I needed to know.

-I didn't say that…-

-But I know you though it- I knew Aspen, I could sense when he was hiding something behind his words.

-I'm just saying that you shouldn't forget who you are and what has brought you where you are now, Mer. Is that so wrong? - We shouldn't have fought just before he came back of what I called "A certain death".

-No, but you should say it in a nicer way- I answered trying to calm us both.

-Alright. Mer, I'm sure you'll make the right choice because you're a very good person and I admire you, I mean it- he assured me while taking my hand, I smiled.

-So cute! I hate when best friends fight, it's so sad- Marlee commented.

-I agree, no more discussing because of stupid matters. We have to celebrate that you're back! - I suggested and they both nodded.

-What are you thinking about, Highness? - He wanted to know.

-Tonight, the six of us will have dinner together at my lounge- I proposed.

-Six? - Aspen was surely lost.

-Yes! You have to invite Lucy and Carter of course! - I answered.

-Are you sure we can do that? - asked Marlee unsure.

-I don't care if we can or not! I don't follow the rules, remember? Besides, I'm the princess! It's an order-I said happily.

-As you wish, my lady- answered Aspen sounding convinced.

-Ok, then, I'll go change. Make sure you both look great; I'll make sure it'll be very special tonight! - I announced, then I went to my room to choose a dress, luckily Mary was there to help me.

-Looking for something, Highness? - She asked when she saw me standing in front of my huge closet.

-Uh, yes. It's a special occasion- I answered.

-What kind of occasion?-

-Just a small home coming celebration- I said, she looked at me one second as if she was remembering all the gowns I had in the closet.

-I think I've got an idea- she said sounding very excited. She took out a not so bulky dress; very soft pink colored with sleeves to the elbows, had fine prints of roses, and although I was not a big fan of that color, I must admit it was lovely.

-Perfect, Mary. Thank you! - I absolutely loved it. When she finished dressing me, putting on my makeup and perfume and choosing the right shoes and jewelry, I asked her for a little favor.

"_**For my dear husband who I love.**_

_**I'm glad to invite you to a little reunion for the return of the soldier Aspen Leger at my private lounge. It'll just be him, Lucy, Marlee, Carter, you and me. It's a special occasion, dear and I'm so glad he came back safely and well, complete, if you know what I mean. I had to celebrate this.**_

_**Make sure you come as handsome as always. At 7:30, not sooner not later.**_

_**Love, America. **_

_**Crown Princess of Illéa"**_

Mary assured me that my note would arrive safely and smoothly and then she excused herself.

I looked myself in the mirror once more to check that everything was ok, it was. I went to my lounge which was a light blue painted room with a large table and a balcony, it also had a tea table and some of my favorite books, my piano music sheets, my piano of course and violin. It was like my little den, a place only made for me (and my guests of course). Maxon had prepared it for me on our 2nd anniversary and I was absolutely crazy about it, if I could had spent the rest on my days locked in there with him I wouldn't have thought it twice.

When I got there, the only missing person was my husband, not so surprising; I had told him like 5 minutes ago.

-Your Highness- Carter greeted me and the four of them stood up from their sits. I was going to show the same respect but I was so excited to see them all gathered in there that I decided to just be myself.

-It's good to have you here, Lucy!- I said and hugged her, she look so pretty with that light green dress and her perfect curls moving around when she walked to meet me.

-Thanks for the invitation, Your Highness- she said with a little bow.

-Oh, stop it with the formalism, tonight I want you all to enjoy and have fun- I said taking her hand, she smiled shyly.

-Still, you were very nice to do this for Aspen, I have to thank you someway- she insisted.

-You already have, my dear- I reminded her and I took her to the table.

-You look very pretty, Your…- Carter was about to say but I gave him an accusing look. –America- he corrected himself.

-Thanks, Carter. Mary was very helpful and nice as always- I answered and Lucy seemed curious.

-Right, Mary. Is she ok? - She asked nervously.

-She's fine, Lucy. She's happy and very pleased to work here- I answered trying to calm her.

-Oh, that's good-

-Hey, Mer- Marlee approached me looking anxious.

-Something wrong? - I asked lowering my voice.

-No, but Carter is looking a little worried, he hasn´t even said a thing about my dress! - She was completely hurt.

-I'm sure he's just distracted and let me say that you look beautiful- she did, she had an orange dress that made her skin look gorgeous and her hair was tied up in a long and straight ponytail.

-Thanks, you do too. I love that color on you!-

-Really? Don't I look like a salmon or something?-

-Of course not! You're precious, but… since when do we care so much about the way we look? - She asked; I was shocked.

-Well, since we entered The Selection, I think… you know what it takes to conquer the prince! - I joked and she laughed.

-You should know better than I do! - She reminded me; I smiled.

-I hope I'm not crashing the party- said Maxon standing at the door.

-Of course not, Honey- He approached me and took my hands.

-Beautiful as always- he said and then he kissed my right hand.

-See? How you dare to compare a salmon with you! - Marlee joked.

-Oh, there's the guest of honor- he announced and Aspen came closer.

-Your Highness- he greeted.

-Officer Leger- he answered, we stayed quiet for a bit until we all started laughing crazily, and Maxon gave him pats on his shoulder while they both smiled.

-I don't understand the joke- said Lucy confused.

-Oh, they never act like that unless Silvia or someone from the court is watching them. They're very close friends- I explained.

-Wow, that's amazing- said Lucy happily.

-Well, I guess we better sit- Maxon announced and we did it.

-Uh, dear. You told the people from the kitchen that we were going to eat here, right? - I asked hoping he had done it.

-No, I thought you prepared everything! - He answered and I started shaking.

-Oh, lord. What would you do without me? Delilah! - Marlee called and our servants entered the room with our food.

-I suck as an organizer- I scolded myself.

-No, you're just a bit forgetful- he assured me while rubbing my arm.

-What a lovable princess! - said Marlee chocking with laughter, we all had to laugh with her. I was learning, my mistakes seemed nothing but fun.

After eating and chatting and playing 4 rounds of poker, not proper of the princess but still! I won one time! I was surprised that Lucy was so talented at that game; Aspen decided to make an announcement.

-Here he goes- said Marlee excited; we held our hands to watch the scene.

-Lucy, my love…- Aspen said and kneeled in front of her, she was absolutely shocked. –Would you grant me the honor of becoming my wife? - I could have sworn we were all holding our breaths until Lucy jumped to his arms insanely happy. Marlee and me clapped at the beautiful scene.

-We're still getting married? - She asked excited and Aspen nodded.

-How do you even ask that, darling? I've waited for this moment for a month! - He answered joyful.

-I cannot do more that wishing the best for you both, in fact… I'd like to propose a toast…- Maxon said while standing up with his cup. - To Lucy and Aspen, so your lives will be full of joy and love… and for the next prince of Illéa! - He said and we all drank our wine.

-Thank you, dear- I said and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

-Are you pregnant? - Lucy asked; I shook my head.

-Not yet, Lucy dear. But soon- Marlee answered.

-In fact, as soon as possible! - announced Carter standing up. – With your permission, I would like to send you both to bed and not to come out until we know that our heir is coming! - I froze; we both looked at each other. The remaining three nodded agreeing.

-What?!- I screamed.

-You should use all the free time you have, Highness. We know that you both are busy and if the child is needed right now you should better get started-advised us the always so sweet Lucy, she couldn't know that she wasn't helping at all.

-Right, my darling. I'll be tied up with work next week- Maxon agreed, I looked at him stunned.

-You mean it? - I asked concerned

-I do! Right now, in fact! If you excuse us…- he took my hand and made me stand up; he took me to the door.

-Good luck! – said Marlee, Maxon thanked them and said goodbye, we got out and he took me to the hall, I was just stupefied.

-What the hell was that? It was supposed to be a celebration for Aspen!-

-I know, my sweet America. But they've made me realize that I don't have much time with you on private… and I'm in desperate need for one…- he confessed looking so innocent but saying the most bold things.

-Oh, my prince! - I gave up and started kissing him hungrily, there's no way you can resist Maxon Schreave. His lips went down to my neck and then to my right shoulder crossing my chest to the next shoulder. I wouldn't have stopped him if I didn't realize that we were kissing against the wall.-Honey, we should go to bed, and now- he stopped his kisses and lifted me in his arms.

-As you wish, my lady- he answered and I laughed surrounding his neck with my arms. He kept kissing me until we got to our rooms, one next to the other.

-Mine or yours? - I asked.

-Well, I slept in yours last Thursday…- he reminded me, we didn't have much time to share our beds so we did what we could.

-Alright- I opened the door with the hand that was closest to it. He took me to his bed and he left me there softly while he took off his jacket, I bit my lip; I could see his perfect body hiding behind his shirt.

-Come here, love of my life- he asked me and I jumped to his arms smiling. He continued to kiss me until he got to my stomach and then he decided I had to lose the dress, he took it off so fast that I didn't even notice. I kissed his neck teasing him while I opened his shirt buttons one to one, I liked to feel him breathing heavily. When he was finally shirtless I rubbed his very defined muscles.

He started kissing my chest pressing my body against his; I was completely blind with desire. He took off my bra very determined and he unleashed my hair, which was very cute by the way, but too late, I wouldn't stop him now. He took off his shoes and then he pounced to me leaving me perfectly lying on bed.

-I love you so much- I whispered very close to his mouth, I could see him smile and then he sealed my words with a soft and tender kiss.

-I love you too, with every part of me- he replied, I started feeling something cold against my neck and I realized I was still wearing my jewelry, I pushed him a little while I took off my necklace and earrings and left them on his nightstand, he looked a little anxious, I smiled and started kissing him again wanting him crazily. I finally felt it was the moment; I stroked his back, full of scars that I would have liked to prevent from happening, but I swore to myself to never let anybody hurt him again; I got to the commeasure of his pants and managed to take them off.

-I hope we get all the blessings we need this night- he said and I laughed, he hugged me strongly like never wanting to let me go, asking for all my love and soul. I took a deep breath and took off his underwear; my god, he was really ready. He did the same with mine and with a soft kiss on my forehead he was introduced within me making me moan. Our bodies brushing against each other, causing the strongest and most incredible sensations that may exist, making us one. Each move full of love and passion, every kiss and every touch was perfect. He was perfect and he was all mine.

And we stayed up all night, experiencing, loving each other with even the smallest parts of ourselves, hoping that our love would lead us to something somehow little that everyone expected us to give them, but big because we would love it as much as he loved me and I loved him.

**To be continued…**

_**Dreamer.**_


	3. How a Princess should be

I woke up wrapped in Maxon's sheets, smiling when the sun came through the window and got to my eyes. I turned around and saw him, still asleep, looking tired but happy at the same time. I got closer and hugged him; he noticed and rested his head on my bare chest.

-Wake up, sleepy sweetheart- I told him, he made a sound and with one little move he pulled me down, I laughed.

-I don't want to- he protested with his eyes still closed.

-You have much to do, majesty. - I said caressing his blond curls.

-Well, I don't want to do anything- he said and started tickling me, I laughed twice harder.

-Maxon, stop it! - I begged, and then he covered me with kisses.

-I refuse to get up from this bed! - He said between kiss and kiss.

-Okay, then. I'll have to call Aspen so he makes you come out! - I threatened, he finally woke up completely.

-Why do you have to ruin my dreams so fast? - He complained.

-Oh, stop being a cry baby. It's my duty as your wife to make sure you fulfill your responsibilities- I said kissing his neck.

-You're my responsibility- he answered.

-Yes, dear. But I can take care of myself, thing that the people from the parliament can't do! - I reminded him, he laughed.

-Good morning, beautiful- he greeted.

-Good morning, my love- he started kissing me, ¡Oh, that heavenly feeling! I would have done anything so it could have last longer, but then someone came into the room. It was a maid, she looked at us scared, and I giggled.

-I'm so sorry your highness, we couldn't find the princess and we got worried- she apologized.

-My bad, I should have told you she was here with me- he said trying to cover our naked bodies, I was ashamed so I couldn't help but to laugh.

-Don't worry highness. I'll make sure they know- she said with a bow and got out.

-If someone says anything, make sure they blame Carter for this- I said, he laughed once more and then he hugged me harder leaving visible his back, every time I watched his scars I couldn't help of feeling guilty and hurt. I just couldn't accept the fact theta his father could do that to him, when he had always tried so hard to be perfect for everyone, he was perfect for me at least.

-You think it worked? - He asked with his lips resting on my chest.

-To hell if it didn't work! It was amazing, and we have time, don't we? - I answered smiling.

-Well, I guess we'll have to try over and over again until we make it- I can't explain how marvelous it felt having him so close, so peaceful and joyful, it was heaven itself.

-As you order, your highness! I surely won't be able to walk for a month. - And the sound of his laughter, that little sound could make me happy even in the most awful times.

-Want to help me with my duties? - He asked.

-Didn't we do that all night long?-

-Very cute, I meant… that you should come to the office with me today, you know… do some stuff together-

-Right, and we still have a project to finish- I reminded him. The project was the definite elimination of the castes. We had been working on it, but it took time and much planning, we were still in the middle of what to do with the eights, but we needed help, and that only made it more difficult because it was a silent matter, no one but him, the parliament and me knew it.

-Great, we'll focus on that today, then- he kissed my forehead and then got up from the bed, it was not easy to see him walking around naked and resist throwing him to bed again, but I had stuff to do.

We went together to the dining room where Marlee, Carter and Aspen would be waiting for us, when we entered they all looked at us with suspicious eyes and devilish smiles.

-How did you both sleep, majesties? - said Marlee with a disturbing giggle while we sat, me next to her and Maxon.

-As good as you and your husband sleep every night-she was ashamed, point for me. She hit me softly.

-And so…? - Aspen started asking.

-Oh, for the lord's sake! You cannot make a baby overnight! - I protested.

-Actually you can, princess. In fact, that's the only way you can do it! Why would we send you to your rooms if we knew there was another away? - answered Carter, I scowled at him.

-I mean that I can't be sure if it has only been like 9 hours since we… you know…- I decided to put an end to that hideous conversation.

-Let's just start eating- Maxon agreed that the conversation had gone far enough, it was so good to have him on my side.

-Of course, you must be starving. - Answered Aspen and then the giggles began again.

-Just because I'm your friend I don't send you all to the dungeons! - I complaint, Maxon kissed my hand.

-You're such a kind princess- he said sarcastically, so he was laughing at me too?

-So, how's Lucy? - I asked trying to chance the theme while the servants brought our food.

-She's very well, excited as hell- Aspen assured me.

-She should be; she's marrying Aspen Leger! A national hero! - I answered happily.

-Hang on, Mer. It's you who married Prince Maxon! - He reminded me.

-Still, you both of my men are and will be great husbands- and that was my desperate try so Maxon wouldn't get jealous, I knew he was jealous somehow. Delilah approached him a little.

-Thanks- he answered, Maxon was much focused on his breakfast.

-So, when is going to be the wedding? - I asked trying to release the tension, Marlee looked worried.

-In two weeks- he commented, I smiled.

-Make sure you invite us.-

-Of course! You're my best friend…- he started saying and then Maxon got up from the table.

-What's wrong? - I asked; he couldn't be THAT jealous.

-I… have to attend something, dear. Please enjoy your breakfast. - And he left.

-What's with him? - Asked Marlee.

-I don't know! He was perfectly fine this morning. - I answered nervously.

-Well, That's weird! Maxon has never behaved like that… -Carter told me.

-You think something bad happened? - Aspen asked.

-It might have, but he would have told me…- then someone confirmed our suspicions.

-Officer Leger, Mister Woodwork, his majesty needs you both immediately- said Mr. Leeroy entering the room.

-What's going on? - I demanded to know, he looked at me not looking so pleased.

-Nothing you should worry about, highness- he assured, I got mad, I was being left out of important situations and they had no right to do that.

-I order you to tell me now! - I technically yelled while standing up from the table.

-Well, the court has decided that it's best for you to not take place in this particular matter, I'm sorry- the three of them left the room.

-What the heck was that? - Marlee asked.

-I have no idea! And I'm starting to get tired of that old man; he never lets me help Maxon with anything! He doesn't even let me enter the office if it isn't and emergency! - I protested and sat again.

-They can't leave you out of everything just like that, can they? - She said.

-I guess they actually can… but it's not fair, it must be really important for them to leave like that-.

-Of course, don't let them disrespect you, Mer. You were a five before, we know, but now you're the crown princess and they know how they must treat you…- she tried to advice me.

-I know but I guess that I'll always be a five for them, no matter what I do- I answered.

At around two thirty that day, when I finished my business with Silvia and Marlee, I decided to "take a walk around the palace" but the first thing I did when I left them was run to Maxon's office. I knocked the door.

-Come in- he answered. He was alone, luckily, with a bunch of papers on his desk, looking at them worried, as always.

-Everything ok? - I asked; he stared at me trying to look calmed; I sat in front of him.

-It's the southern rebels, dear…- he answered, I sighed.

-What about them, now? I thought that August and Georgia were taking care of it! - I complaint.

-It isn't that easy, America. They're very stubborn and violent, August and Georgia are doing what they can but they also say that they're planning something big and there's no way for them to know about it… but they assured me that they're going to protect us in any possible way…- that left me a little stressed, they both were incredibly strong and brave, but now they had two beautiful children to look after to, the little Nerissa was only 3 months old and her Kaleb brother was 2, they needed their parents… and we did also.

-I'm sure about that, but it might be dangerous…- I said sadly.

-There is no other way, honey. We have to do what we can to protect and serve our people…- I remembered those words, it was part of the oath I had to say during the coronation.

-I know; is there anything I can do? - Probably, he wouldn't let me help either, but I had to try.

-Just stay by my side, darling. That's the best you can do- he answered looking at the floor, I touched his cheek with my hand.

-I'll always be with you, Maxon, Always. - I assured him.

-Only that way I'll be capable o f anything- he smiled at me and I gave him a little kiss on his nose.

-Anyways, is there news from the emperor? - I asked; he shook.

-Thank God there isn't! That man drives me crazy- I laughed at his reaction, it was funny to see someone who always looked so sure about everything being scared about nothing important.

-He drives us all crazy, my love! - I answered, this time he laughed with me.

-That reminds me! Someone sent a letter for you- he took out the paper and gave it to me.

-Who could it be?- I asked opening it, it couldn't be my family, they were living really near to us, in the house that Maxon gave me and I couldn't think of anyone else.

It said:

_Ciao, mia bella Principessa America!_

How's the wonderful Illéa at this time of the year? Spring must be really pretty there! And it must look even better having a cute and charming princess like you, I've missed you badly, dear, you should know. The reason why I write is to report a little mistake, they may have told you that I was visiting Illéa next week; I'm not going, darling, the reason? Well, as you should know, next week is the "Royal Encounter" in France, and royalty from around the world will attend, the good thing is that I'll see you there! _Sono così entusiasta! _It's going to be your first time as the Crown Princess of your country, I just hope you don't get bored talking with the German Prime Minister like you did at my birthday party, I understand you, _amore mio;_ that man is the most obnoxious person I've ever met! Anyways, it'll be really fun and you'll get to meet the other princesses with me! I'm so thrilled to show off that you're my friend with the other people! You'll be my new toy! (Just kidding) Anyways, I guess we'll catch up there! I'm dying to know everything about you and Maxon. Until then.

Crazily waiting to see you!

Your friend, Princess Nicoletta.

Kisses from Italy to you all!

-The Royal Encounter? What's that? - I asked Maxon who was plunged in his work again.

-Oh, it's the royal reunion that happens every five years, all kings, queens, emperors and rulers of every nation go. The first one took place in Illéa actually, but I don't remember where is it going to be this time, don't worry we still have time…- he wasn't paying attention to me while he talked, I sighed and decided to use my only tool that always worked with him, I got very close to him, when he stared at me I just kissed him passionately. When I was sure I got him just for me I continued.

-Honey, we only have three days left. - I reminded him.

-Right! I'll ask Mr. McAffle to send me the information, don't worry, dear- He kissed my check and made me sit again.

-Well, Nicoletta says it's going to be on France this time, why didn't you tell me about this? - I asked.

-I'm sorry, beautiful. I've been busy, you know that, and I didn't want to make you nervous, I know how you get with this kind of happenings- he answered reading those freaking papers over and over again.

-You should have, but what are we supposed to do? - I wanted to know the reason why he thought I would be uneasy with that.

-Not much actually, but you'll have to talk with every single person there and… that's kind of hard, I myself find it very awkward, they're kings for God's sake! What is there to talk about with them? As us, they never leave their palaces! - He started complaining, I laughed.

-Then why should I be so scared about it?-

-This time it'll be a bit more difficult, America. It's another test for us, they want to know everything about you and if you say something they don't like… things will get ugly- he held my hands, okay, now I was worried.

-I should call Silvia…- I answered.

-You probably should, but its ok, I would bet my life that you'll be as lovely as always- he tried to calm me down.

-As lovely as I was with your father? - He smiled.

-Ok, you'll have to be a little nicer with them- he advised me.

-And what exactly are you going to talk about? - I asked; it would be good to know everything I could about the reunion.

-Politics, mostly. New projects, examining and comparing our economies, analyzing social problems in our countries, watching the new advances… and if we're lucky enough, we'll make some allies- he said, I bit my lip. Damn, it'll be complicated!

-So… the emperor is going to be there? - I wanted him to confirm that, he nodded not looking so happy about it. -I'm screwed! - I answered stamping my face on his desk.

-No, sweetie, you'll be great! - He encouraged me stroking my head.

-That old geezer hates us, Maxon! Just imagine what he could do with so many important people surrounding us! He'll crush us! - I said terribly scared at just thinking about it.

-Not if you show them how smart, cute, nice and brave you are- he took my face in his hands.

-How are you so sure about that?-.

-Because I know you very well, I know that you're always fair and kind with those who need you; you're the voice of an entire country who's shouting for its freedom and progress; only you could have the power to change all of our lives and make them better, you're exactly and everything that a good, prefect princess should be. I'm sure about that- he left me speechless.

-Have I told you how much I love you? - He laughed.

-You don't need to- he pressed his lips against mine giving me all the strength I needed.

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._


	4. The Royal Encounter

-It's just that I don't understand why… Oh, mother of God, Mary! I can't breathe!- Mary, Silvia and me were at my room trying to choose an outfit and preparing me for The Royal Encounter, which was two day after, the next I would try on was a light green dress patterned with birds but Mary managed to choke me with how much she tightened the corset.

-I'm sorry, highness- she apologized and she let out a little.

-You were saying…?- Silvia asked.

-Oh, right… I can't understand why the emperor hates us so much! We've been more than nice with him, we've been understandable and very welcoming with his people, we're giving him our first child, what else does he want?- I asked her, she sighed.

-He does not hate you, princess. Emperor Cho is a bit of a difficult person with a personality that's hard to understand, but you must show very polite and reasonable with him- she advised me, I huffed annoyed and Mary helped me with the dress.

-Well, I don't know why I should be respectful with him when he's a total douche with us- I answered while Mary zipped my dress.

-Because, respect is a one way street, Highness- she told me and once again sounded like my mother.

-Did they teach you that at the royal assistants school?- I asked giggling, Mary was hiding a laugh too. I looked myself at my huge mirror.

-Very funny, highness- she said a bit upset and got back to her agenda.

-Ok, sorry. What do you think?- I turned around so she could see it, she analyzed me from head to toe.

-It's too simple, I'm afraid. I mean, you shouldn't wear something so outrageous but is an important meeting and you must take care of your appearance- she reminded me, I turned back to Mary.

-If you say so…- Mary helped me with the zipper. –So freaking difficult to please everyone…- I whispered and she giggled with me this time.

-Oh, that reminds me, didn't you ordered a new dress a couple of months ago, majesty?- Mary asked, a light turned on inside my head.

-Right! You told me I should have a nice dress in case I had something important to attend to, remember?- I told Silvia, she nodded. –That might work, please bring it to me – I asked Mary, she quickly ran to my closet and searched for the dress. When she took it out it looked much more beautiful than I remembered. A beautiful turquoise dress with short sleeves reaching to the shoulder, where they joined both sleeves had a bright white diamond, opened from the waist and fell into pretty waves, it was perfect. When I finally got into the dress I looked up to the mirror watching how it fit me.

-You should wear those dresses more often now that you can- Silvia complimented me.

-It's wonderful…- I agreed, Mary looked very excited. Then, the door opened.

-I shall share your opinion, highness –Maxon greeted me; I smiled and walked to meet him.

- Does it look good? – I asked, he made me turn.

- You look like a beautiful blue angel – he assured me, I got closer and gave him a tender kiss.

-We must not look- Silvia whispered to Marry and when we finally opened our eyes, they were looking at the window, Maxon laughed.

-Everything ready for tomorrow?- he asked me, he looked a bit tired.

-Yes, everything but my patience- I assured him, he smiled.

-You'll do great- he encouraged me, I rubbed his cheek.

-Is something wrong?- he looked at me concerned and held my hand.

-I just wish that nothing happens while we're out- I shook with those words.

-The rebels, uh?- I asked, he nodded.

-They're a bit of unstoppable, dear. – He answered. –I talked to Georgia today and she says that some of her people are around our palace and they'll send as much protection as we require… but who protects our people?- Maxon always tried so hard to do everything well, I wondered who really took care of him when he didn't have me?

-Maxon, you can't be looking after every single person of Illéa, stop pressuring yourself! And besides, we could tell them to take care of the town while we're in Paris. We have to think of solutions not get stressed about the problems- he sighed and looked down.

-Maybe they could, but you know it's the perfect time for them to attack- when he was nervous it was so hard to make him understand.

-Don't worry, dear. It all will be fine- I hugged him and he rested his head on my shoulder. I couldn't promise him that everything would be great at The Royal Encounter, but I could at least try to ease his worries.

The flight was awfully long and I got a bit dizzy, luckily Maxon didn't leave me alone not even a second, and we even got to lock ourselves in the bathroom a while.

I had to admit that Paris was beautiful! I couldn't believe that I was actually there, it was so big and modern and pretty, my eyes could hardly handle all that beauty. And the press, Oh God, even worse than in Illéa, they were everywhere! Asking me things I didn't understand and taking pictures whenever they could. A bit of stressing but still flattering, Maxon seemed to be showing me off to everyone, Silvia even told me that someone had said that he was the luckiest prince and married man in all the world, I was glad, it was good for all them to know that we were happily together, and it helped to calm my jealousy, you can't blame me! Having so much French girls around you can make you feel very unsure even about if your name's pretty! America! How could that compete to Angelique or Colette or any other!

When we got to the hotel, the best hotel in all France I must say, things started to get a bit complicated. Our room wasn't prepared as Maxon wanted and he freaked out, for the first time I was ok with the idea of not understanding a word that he said, we'll the servants (shaking with fear) had to fix the room how they could, I apologized and thanked them (with a little help of Silvia, of course).

The next morning she came very early to wake us up and get us ready for The Royal Encounter.

- Time to get up, majesties! – She said while getting in. We were both exhausted because of the other night, we hardly handled that much attention. My husband was snoring terribly and I had to fight with myself to open my eyes, I did my best to wake him up, with a soft movement of my arm which he was holding. But it didn't end up well, in turned out that I had more strength that I knew or needed, Maxon complaint about the pain and he fell of our bed.

-My god, Maxon!- I ran to see if he was ok, when he finally reacted he looked at me with a shocked look.

-Hum… America dear, I'm afraid that your nightgown is falling off- I looked down to my chest to discover that I was almost naked. I flushed and covered myself with my arms, making him fall again. I was holding him after all.

-Highness, are you hurt?- Silvia asked looking not so pleased with the scene we just created.

-Mentally: yes, physically: I'm not so sure…- he answered while getting up and sitting on the bed again.

-As if you had never seen me wearing nothing but my passion!- I whispered and I swear that he stopped breathing for a moment.

-It's not time, darling- he replied, I rolled my eyes and I moved away his blonde hair from his forehead to see if he had not hit his head, he looked even more beautiful being confused and feeling uncomfortable.

-It's always time- I couldn't help of giving him a little kiss when Silvia didn't see us, but he made it longer and longer and longer, until we heard something strange outside our room. Silvia walked to the door while our lips were still pressed together, and… big mistake! She opened the door.

More than a hundred reporters, all of them with more than one camera, were waiting for us and we were still barely dressed, blushing to death and about to do something more than kissing each other. The guards came as soon as they could but I knew it was already too late, those pictures would be in the news papers from France to Illéa to New Asia.

-Well, at least they'll say that we still have the spark of love…- he said, I looked at him annoyed, but then I laughed.

-You, Prince Maxon, have no shame…- I put my arms around his neck and he holds my back. We wouldn't have done that if Silvia wouldn't have come out of the room.

-It wouldn't be the first time I hear that- I giggle and he starts kissing me again, this time a little more strongly, leaving me laying on bed and taking his lips to my cheek way down to my neck and chest.

-I hope you remember whe have an important meeting today- I said with the latest voice I had left, he had his ways to distract me and make me believe that the world was gone, that we were not royalty or nothing more, that we were just two crazy lovers.

-And I hope you remember we're supposed to make a baby…- he reminded me making way down to my stomach.

-We still have time…- I gave up. The happening wouldn't start until 11 am and it was still 7:30! He didn't need all that time to get ready and I didn't need those extra behavior classes.

At about 9, Silvia came back to apologized for what had happened and she assured us she was ready to start, but it was too late. We were both already getting ready for the reunion, as if nothing had happened, one of my maids: Olivia, was doing my hair, the other one: Hailey was fixing my dress which had been damaged by the journey and Mary was helping me to choose the jewelry and doing my makeup, I couldn't say what Maxon would have been doing, but he was really quick.

-I'm really sorry I didn't come back sooner, highness. The reporters just wouldn't go away – she said again, I could not move my head to look at her, so I did all the possible that Liv let me to talk to her.

-Don't worry about it, I just want to know… if there's a possibility of eliminating those pictures? - I asked; Silvia took a little while to answer.

-I cannot promise you anything, highness. But I'll do what's in my hands – she finally said, I sighed relieved and that made all the blush would go to the face of the poor Mary that as efficiently as always took care my face.

-Sorry…- I whispered. Olivia fought with herself not to laugh, Mary cleaned her face.

-It's ok, majesty. Just try to not breathe so strongly- I laughed.

After about one hour and thirty minutes, my hair was perfectly curled and set aside to give the effect of a cascade, I needed a few extensions of course, my lashes were well raised, my eyes beautifully painted and my mouth of a pastel very precious pink color. The dress was impeccably adjusted and ready, my heels were shinny, my gloves in place, my tape that showed exactly "my distinction" was securely tied, my sapphire necklace rested on my chest and the earrings that matched dazzled my ears, just missing one thing. I was going from one side to the other down the hall, waiting impatiently for my husband with my nerves to the maximum.

"My god, what on earth am I doing? Who are you trying to fool, America?! You're not a lady or much more, yes you're the princess, we know! But still, this is much more than just wearing a dress and smiling to everyone, this is… huge! What if I say something wrong, uh? What then? Maxon will be so embarrassed that he'll ask me for divorce! Oh hell, no! I can't leave him! I love him, there's no way I'm doing this… It'll be a disaster if I go! No way, I have to tell him, I cannot go… I …"

-There you are; I thought you were still inside…- I heard at my back and I almost choke with my own breath. I turned around, he looked so handsome and ready, he had not even one doubting hair on his perfect head, looking so flawless, ready and relaxed, so himself. It made me feel guilty for being such a bad wife and think of leaving him. He came with what looked like a case in hand.

-What's that? - I asked; he looked at me excited.

-This, my dear, is who you are- He opened it revealing a white gold tiara with diamonds, it was so beautiful. –Since I met you, I somehow knew that it was made for you, well, it was actually my mother's but we changed her rubies for these diamonds, mother said "it symbolizes a new start". And now it's officially yours- I had worn a crown before but that was kind of those that you see on TV and movies a crown of magnificent liner and details of pure gold with many ornaments, but this was perfect, simple and pretty. He took it out and carefully placed it on my head.

-Better? - I said with a smile.

-With or without it you would look wonderful; it's just for them to know that you're completely mine. - He kissed my forehead.

-Your transport is waiting, highness- a guard of the Hotel announced. Maxon offered me his arm and I took it happily, while I had the man of my life by my side nothing would scare me. Another guard opened the limo's door for me and helped me with my dress, Maxon sat next to me and took my hand all the way, I was breathing heavily.

-You'll do great, honey. Stop it – he said with is mouth next to my ear making me shake.

- You'd be nervous too if it was your first time- I reminded him, he giggled.

-My first time was as a 5 year old child, America. But if you mean the first time that I actually had to talk with them… I ran away- I looked at him shocked, but he didn't seem regretful.

-You did what? - He showed one of his cute smiles and answered.

-I was fifteen. My father had spent so much time preparing me for sharing time with all those people, I thought I would make no mistake, but when the moment came… I freaked out and I asked for permission to leave, I told mother that I was feeling sick and that wasn't so false, I stayed locked in one of the rooms all day long, and father got mad… you can imagine what happened after we got back to Illéa. Later I understood that, no matter how much you fear your challenges, they'll always come back for you, so… it's better to try and fail that not trying at all…- he stroked my cheek. –Besides, you're the bravest person I know. You confronted the most terrifying king of Illéa, they are nothing compared to my father - he assured me, but that wasn't as comforting as he thought, I could fight with the king because he was a mean person, but I hardly had seen all those people, how could I even try to say a word to them?

- Just… don't let me do anything that makes you regret had chosen me, okay? – I asked him, he hugged me.

-There's nothing you can do that could make me regret having you as my wife – he gave me a tender kiss trying not to ruin my lipstick. - You won't be alone, America. I promise. - And we finally got there. It was definitely a palace, it wasn't bigger than ours but it was really big, it was of marble, with windows and supports of the stairs surrounded by gold and ceilings finished in tip showing the flag of France, the gardens had thousands of types of flowers and I even saw some stables behind the palace. There were so many cars and carriages and any number of reporters and cameramen waiting for the arrival of the next guests, which we were us. We got out of the limo, Maxon, of course, had to help me because of the dress; we went up the main stairs. I could hear my name in so many different languages but I only understood one:

"_**Here comes the most awaited couple: Prince Maxon and Princess America Schreave from Illéa. For what we know this is the first time that her highness attends to The Royal Encounter, we wish her all the luck in the world as she wasn't prepared all her life for this as her husband was…"**_

I felt a little bit of hurt by those worlds, I was a poor girl, that was true, but they had no right to mention it that way. We got to the gates, which were wide opened, I stopped there watching the insides, all those people, they were my challenge this time. I thought to myself: You already managed to conquer the prince, C'mon, You can do this! I woke up when I felt Maxon kissing my hand that was hidden in my glove.

-Leave them speechless, my love - took me inside the palace and all eyes turned to us, to me, rather, I spotted Nicoletta wearing a magenta dress that highlighted her beautiful eyes, she greeted me happy. But other lady did not see me so excited, her perfectly lank blonde hair rose to turn his head to see me and her green eyes seemed to want to melt with just setting them on me, then relaxed her eyes and walked over to us.

-My dear, Maxon. So good to see you! –she greeted my husband leaving clear her French accent, she kissed him one time in each cheek, I have to admit that her golden tiara was much bigger and scandalous than mine was, it looked perfect with her red and puffy strapless dress. I looked much more natural, point for me.

-Daphne, it's always a pleasure to see you. I introduce you to my wife, Princess America – she bowed and I did the same, she offered me her hand, I took it.

- It's an honor to meet you, highness – that was not so true, being so affectionate with my husband and looking at me with hateful eyes, we wouldn't get along so well.

- What a sweetheart, did you have a good flight? - She took Maxon's free arm and led us to the center of the room, like throwing me to the dogs. Then I couldn't hear him talking anymore, I was looking to the royalty gathered there, some were older, some were younger, some of them looking very extravagant and some of them looking simple and relaxed, some of them looking at me with pitiful eyes and some of them looking at me with displeasure, one of them was Emperor Cho.

-_America, mia bella principessa! Come stai, cara? – (America, my beautiful princess! How are you, dear?) _I had been studying Italian for a Little time with Silvia; I actually knew what that meant. And I mentally thanked Nicoletta for saving me from all that pressure; I decided to blow Princess Daphne's head, not literally of course, but using my new abilities.

-_Molto bene, Vostra Altezza. Grazie per avermelo chiesto. – (Very well, your highness. Thanks for asking) _I answered; I could feel Maxon looking at me surprised and the princess burning with jealousy.

-_Mamma mia!_ Your Italian has gotten much better than the last time we talked- she assured me with a hug. She was right, the last time I pronounced _"Il mio nome è l'America"_ _(My name is America) _like what she would call: a sick cow, what would I do without Marlee and Silvia?

-It's good not to sound like a sick cow anymore- she laughed.

-Oh, Prince Maxon! My bad, congratulations for having such a lovely wife- she said to my husband, he smiles proudly. Princess Daphne was really mad.

-Everyday spent with her is a gift, Princess Nicoletta- he answered; I kissed him on his cheek. Nicoletta made a joyful sound and took my hand.

-Would you mind if I steal your princess for a bit? - Maxon nodded, I sent him a blown kiss and went to the garden with Nicoletta. It was huge, showing pretty daisies in every single one of the little roads that it had. I had to tell Maxon about getting some more flowers in our gardens.

-Ok, what exact relationship did Maxon have with the French princess? - I needed to know; She took me to one of the many benches and held both of my hands.

-Well, I can't tell you everything about it, but some rumors say that Daphne was once in love with your husband but he rejected her a few days before the selection. It's really sad, _amore_, but I'm glad he didn't feel the same - And I was stunned again, how many princesses had flirted with Maxon?

-Can you imagine that? I would never have met him! I…- she stopped me with an annoyed sigh.

-Don't even mention it, America! Thinking that is a sin! Princess Daphne became so cold after that, you know I like Maxon, he disserves something better than her. That means you- I smiled, she sounded so sincere and comforting with her accent.

-May God bless Maxon's taste, he saved my life! – Nicoletta laughed with me. –Though I have to admit that he chose the worst option ever, I mean that I'm not a princess on the inside at all, I'm practically a disaster, but… he's so perfect that I don't care much about his decisions- she looked at me with accusing eyes.

-_Per Dio_, America! You're great just the way you are, if your husband didn't and doesn't want you to change a thing about you why would you want it? - she asked me, I raised my arms.

-You said it, he disserves better. But I've promised you both to be the nicest I can be- I reminded her, she scowled.

-Sometimes being yourself has a better effect on people, but you're the princess so I won't question you! - I laughed.

-You're the princess too! - I reminded her.

-And talking about princesses… The ice's one is calling us inside now- we both giggled at her reference for Princess Daphne and got inside.

For what Maxon had told me, now we were going to take places on our tables, it was something like modeling for the rest of the people, showing who we were and imposing respect. First of all were the kings of France, their daughter and husband, and then would go the kings of England with their little son, and then the princes of Russia. We were fifteenth couple, Maxon helped me straighten my tiara and smoothing my tape, "Crown Princess of Illéa" it said, and his said "Crown Prince of Illéa" of course.

-Take a deep breath, we'll go slowly - How difficult could it be? Walking down a hall, smiling and greeting the guests, it couldn't be so bad!

-Curious, that's the same thing you always say in the bedroom- I remind him so I could relax a bit, he laughs and gives me a tiny kiss.

-I feel glad that you're not worried- I took his arm and I straighten my posture, with my eyes facing forward. "When you look forward, things will happen even more quickly" Mom always said that. God, I missed her! If only she could have been there with me, I wouldn't have felt so out of place, somehow she was, the whole world would see the reunion, but I begged no one saw the pictures that had been taken earlier that morning. If anybody saw that, our reputation would officially be finished, I didn't want to even think about what the Emperor could say about that.

-And now, Prince Maxon and Princess America Schreave, royal monarchs of Illéa - the presenter announced and we started walking, slowly as he promised, I smiled sweetly and greeted with a gentle gesture to those who could see me directly. The Queen of Ireland was very friendly and she smiled back.

- You see? They don't bite, as far as I know- he said when we took our seats.

-I'm not purple? I didn't breathe like at all! - he smiled and then he whispered to my ear.

- You are such an angel, I love you so much – he kissed my neck, when I lifted my eyes, Queen Miyamoto , who was sitting in front of us, was more than surprised, maybe in Japan there were no such things as public displays of affection.

-Uh, sorry- My husband apologized while I smiled with flushed cheeks. She just opened her fan and looked away. The German prime minister and his wife sat next to the kings of Japan, next to us were the kings of Ireland and next to them were Emperor Cho and his wife, for our good luck.

-So, Prince Maxon, I'm very sorry about your parents, we didn't have the chance to tell you earlier- said the prime minister, Maxon sighed, I stroked his hand.

-Thank you very much, they're dearly missed, I assure you- he answered as calm and polite as always.

-Of course they are, they were very responsible and correct kings- said Emperor Cho.

-And their son is the same of course, you're a very good lieder for what we've seen, Prince Maxon - The king of Ireland was very nice to us too.

-You see? They love you- I whispered to him, he looked at me affectionately.

-And they should love you too- he answered. Then I thought that this situation wouldn't be so difficult after all, they would surely want to talk with Maxon more than with me, and I would just have to be his pretty doll.

-America, come here a second! I want you to meet someone –Nicoletta called me from the other side of the table.

-Excuse me - I announced and ran to her. I could hear Daphne saying something like I had restless legs or something. She was talking to who I thought would be the Indian Princess, I had not heard much about her except that she was extremely attractive, deep dark eyes with long black hair that hung to her waist, using all kinds of very bright and fine jewelry in a fuchsia sari with golden accents, simply spectacular .

-My dear, I introduce you to Princess Rajnandhini, Your highness, this is Princes America from Illéa- the princes smiled to me.

-You can call me Dhini, dear. I've heard much about you, Nicoletta can't keep quiet when it comes to you. –she answered, I sat next to Nicoletta.

-I can't imagine why… Whoa, let me tell you that you're really pretty – I couldn't keep it to myself and that was my best way of sounding friendly.

- You're so kind, thank you! Being honest to you, I can't help of envying your eyes- she confessed, I laughed with Nicoletta; I never had considered myself as a marvelous looking girl.

-I'm sure that we'll be really good friends the three of us – Nicoletta said.

-Ugh, you don't know how much Princess Daphne scolded me for being late, her airport was so crowded! Who does she think she is to blame me? - Dhini complained. So she was the last one, Maxon had told me that the entrance ceremony would be delayed a bit because one of the guest wasn´t there yet.

-She thinks she is the ice princess- Nicoletta answered, I giggled.

-Or maybe the princess of dishonor… I heard from the countess Caroline that she has cheated on her husband so many times that she already forgot! Can you believe her? Poor Prince Maxon, the Selection somehow saved him… Oh, right! You're the winner, aren't you? It's a little bit late to say it but, congratulations! - She reminded me. Countess Caroline was from Denmark, I had talked to her before, and she was someone who enjoyed the gossips

-Thank you, I'm still feeling very lucky- I assured her, he looked at me a little concerned.

-We'll keep an eye on your husband for you, dear. Princess Daphne is a very persistent young lady and that makes her even more dangerous, you see how she has been with him all day long? - I looked back at Maxon, it was true, here it came again Princess Daphne willing to steal my husband. –And don't think that the royalty are gossips, America. We just say what cannot stay hidden and discover those who deserve to be discovered.-

-May I ask what's the French Prince doing now? - Who could blame Daphne for cheating if the person who had promised his love to her was never around?

-He's always with his in-laws…- Dhini said, Nicoletta nodded and continued.

-The poor Prince Frederick is always trying to impress Daphne's parents because she has told him that he wasn't good enough to become the king- she finished, I was a bit of shocked.

-I understand that, you don't know how difficult can it be to please your in-laws, in my case my late father in law; King Clarkson was far from being just a difficult person – Nicoletta had heard my complaints much times but Princess Dhini looked surprised.

-Right, I heard so much rumors about King Clarkson that it gave me nightmares!- Dhini said and I laughed with her.

-You have no idea how rude that man was to me, but still he was the father of the man I love. If I have to thank the deceased for one thing is for being able to create Maxon, but rather it was due to Queen Amberly.-this time all three of us released a chuckle. I spent what looked the rest of the morning and all afternoon with them, talking or eating sweets and drinking champagne, comparing the royal gentlemen, telling a little about us, I even dared to mention Aspen, of course I didn't say that I had been seeing at the same time I saw my prince. Maxon wanted me to share some time with those who liked me and had things in common, he said that they could help me deal with the stress of being the crown princess, and so I did. When I saw Daphne approaching him again I decided it was time for me to intervene, I kindly say goodbye to my new friends and left.

-Missed me?- I asked sitting next to my husband and giving him a little kiss, for my surprise that didn't send the princess away, she wanted some more time with him, she sat next to me.

-Look at you two, so in love and joyful… I wonder how much time it'll last- she said, I giggled indignantly.

-When it's true love, dear Daphne, it lasts forever- Maxon hugged me from behind and she looked at him with disgust. Prince Frederick walked to meet us.

-Daphne, my darling. Your parents are waiting for you- he said, the princess gave me a final death glare and left being followed by her husband, I felt bad for him.

-Oh God, I perfectly know that Daphne was kind of intense, but this is being a stalker!- I turned to look into his eyes.

-It looks like I'll have to hold on to you much more…- I said.

-Do it as much as you like, you have my permission and willingness- he whispered, his breath tickling me.

-You see? This is what I was talking about!- Emperor Cho raised his voice and stood up from his chair, pointing us out with his finger, sounding angry. What had we done now? –This… impertinent girl, turned into a princess! You late father's helpers have much right to not let you govern Illéa completely, she is blinding you! Confusing you with unexciting feelings! Making you become someone disrespectful and impulsive! That's one more reason to not turn your nation into an ally, with her taking the power it'll be a complete mess! I've asked you for an heir, where is he now? You've made a terrible choice, Prince Maxon! Choosing someone from one of the lowest classes to rule with you, how could you even think that? You have to face it, please open your eyes and see what big damage you're causing to your people! Don't be a fool, grow up and be like your father! Be a man, be a king and be smart, for the Lord's sake! She wasn't born a princess, she can't be a princess now and she'll never be it! She's nothing but a lie, a disgrace, and your biggest mistake! – I was shaking terribly, shedding desperate tears, feeling dead on the inside, praying for some comfort but it was more than clear that no one would want to give it to me.

-I … just need one moment- and I ran away, crying, not caring about anyone else.

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._


	5. Only the beginning

As I got away from the table I could hear Maxon calling me, but I couldn't turn round to face him or anybody. I felt that my pride had been taken away in less than a minute, more than sad I felt embarrassed. I felt devastated and out of place. I got to the garden with the last effort of my feet and I fell on a stool, soaked in my own tears and humiliation. I had never considered myself a girl that feel bad about what others say, but now I questioned if what the emperor said was true. I was born a poor girl, yes, I had starved, I sometimes had to quit my studies and use my talents to help my family survive hard times, but all that took me where I was at that moment, but he was right to say that I wasn't exactly a very prudent girl, anyways when those thought left my mind I started thinking about my poor husband, "You said it, he disserves better" that sentence was around my head and squeezed my heart, what if I actually was his biggest mistake?

-There you are! We have to stop meeting each other this way… - he rushed to me but I just couldn't bear to see his face. He sat next to me and stroked my wet cheek –Darling you didn't believe that, right? - He asked like begging me to not feel bad for something like that.

-I actually do have feelings, Maxon! – I said shakily, just to feel him near the guilt came over me again. –If that's what he thinks about me, we'll never have New Asia as an ally! Why do we even try?- Now it was all clear, Emperor Cho didn't hate Maxon or Illéa, he just hated me, for not being born under royal blood, he thought I was just some stupid and lucky girl who had played around with the prince and that's how she got the crown, the man didn't know a thing about love.

-Hey, hey! Don't let this incidents make you feel down. Listen to me, America- he made me look at him eye to eye –You're in the public eye now, you're more than a celebrity, you have an entire country on your hands, people are always going to talk about you for better or worse, the thing is that… you have to learn to let things slide, because no one can really say who you are, no one but you. It's up to them to think whatever they want about you, but it's up to you to build your own self and be happy about it- I sighed while another tear fell from my eyes.

-And what about you, uh? Do you think it's fair for you to be always questioned about having a disastrous and cowardly wife? I want to be the best I can, Maxon, I do…- he wrapped my body in his arms and I hid my face in his shoulder.

-What should you worry about me? I got everything that I've ever wanted. Honey, I can't believe you actually listened to him! I thought you would just say something rude and got away from there, but you were brave and faced his insolent words. I've always thought you were the strongest person I've ever known, and this night is not an exception, not at all. You have to know… that's another reason why I chose you…- I felt it was the moment for our eyes to meet again, I didn't just want to hear his words, I wanted to see them reflected in his look- I was so sure that you'd be someone that could have the power to make me choose the better option no matter if I was afraid or whatever. You, my dear, are the most precious and special thing I have; and if I've ever made a terrible and unforgivable mistake is the one of even thinking about letting you go. Maybe there's no way for you to know, but for me you're already the best, America! You're all that a princess should be and I feel nothing but proud of having the pleasure and honor to have you as my wife, I do not care what that grumpy old man has to say, I love you and always will thank you for loving me back while knowing the price of being with me forever. – After of hearing those beautiful words, the tears of pain turned into tears of joy. And now it was me who couldn't believe my previous behavior, I needed nobody's approbation to promise to spend the rest of my days beside Maxon, I didn't need it when we got married and I would never need it. Everything I wanted was sitting next to me, rubbing my back and doing his best to comfort me. Why would I ask to please everyone when the most important person in my life was always there?

-It's a big, fat price to pay, your royal husbandness!- I giggled, he smiled back and wiped my tears –But I don't really care, if I have to go to hell and back just for a chance to be with you for one miserable second, I would do it without thinking twice. I thought you knew it…-

-I do, I just needed a confirmation. And I'm sorry you had to hear that, I should've stopped him…- he answered and I detected some deception on his voice.

-It's ok. Everybody talks even when they're not supposed to, Maxon, the only way to shut that geezer is sticking his tongue out- he giggled and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

-Let's forget about it. Actually, to hell with this whole parade! Let's get out of here and do what we do best…- he insinuated.

-Fighting? - I asked giving him a little kiss.

-Oh, we should have a Nobel Prize for that, my love! But no… getting away from our first serious Royal Encounter- he reminded me with a smile, he took my hand and guided me to our limo.

-Without saying a thing? - He thought it a bit and then called the guard.

-Please, tell them that we got urgent news from Illéa and we had to go immediately- the guard nodded and left to talk with Princess Daphne.

- I insist. You have no shame! - I said laughing; he made me get closer to him and answered while he kissed me.

-No one can have shame being around you, beautiful- he opened the door for me and our driver came to take us to the hotel.

-Do you think they'll feel hurt or something?- I didn't really care, but I decided to ask anyways.

-Nicoletta will, I'm sure. But the rest of them… It'll be good for them to have a taste of their own medicine- he assured me. I felt bad for leaving without saying goodbye to Nicoletta or Dhini, but I wouldn't go back now! I would write a letter for them both as soon as I got back to Illéa.

-God, Emperor Cho will surely say that I've created a monster!- I answered happily.

-And he would be right, because you've created the luckiest monster of all the world- he whispered and then his lips ran to my neck.

-Here, really?- I wasn´t such a bad idea, but the driver was watching us.

-You really need to learn to interpret better my suggestions- I scowled but his kissed made me smile again.

-Ok, what do you suggest then?-

-I think we shouldn't leave Paris tomorrow without taking a look of its most important building- No way, he was taking me to the Eiffel Tower! I loved when he was such a hopeless romantic!

-I love you so much!- I thanked him throwing my arms around his neck, he laughed.

-If all that I have to do to hear that every day is taking you to cute places, we'll have to travel more!- I knew we probably couldn't actually get inside it, but it would surely be good to have some time of our own, without cameras or people following us. When our driver announced that we arrived, Maxon helped me out and I stood at the view, blinded by its perfection.

-This looks amazing!- I said, I took his arm and we walked through the field.

-So, do you still want to do it?- he asked after a brief moment of silence.

-Do what?- .

-Giving our first son away as a birthday present for the emperor- he reminded me. Suddenly, that matter didn't seem as an obligation anymore, it seemed more like a challenge.

-This might sound weird, but yes. I want to prove him that I'm not as useless and foolish as he thinks I am, if he wants to marry his niece with my son, he'll have to accept the fact that we become even closer,. If the emperor wants an heir, he'll have it, but with all its conditions. I'm dying to see his expression at the wedding, it would be like to rub my success in his face - I showed a devilish smile.

-That's my America!- he answered joyful.

-Do you have another one?- I joked.

-No, I mean. This is your true self, the reckless, brave and adorably impulsive America, my America- And the entire world seemed to disappear once again, leaving only the precious look in his eyes illuminated by the moon, the wind blowing strongly making me shake but I still felt protected with his arms around me, feeling my heart beating hard against my chest and listening to the sound of his rushed one, I let out my urges to have his lips against mine, promising all his love, assuring me that he was only mine. Everything was as it had been the first time.

Luckily, the next morning Silvia and the reporters found us fully dress and ready to leave, but still she scolded us for leaving the Royal Encounter the way we did, Maxon said that she would send his apologies to Daphne later. France was insanely beautiful, that was true for sure, but nothing could compare to the sight of my beautiful Illéa, although problematic and a little insecure, it was still a beauty. Marlee and Carter, along with all the press of Angeles and more, met us at the airport. When she greeted me I couldn't help of looking that she hid her scars behind those gloves, when she was out of the palace she never showed her hands, not even at the report.

-Welcome home, your highnesses. We've missed you- said Carter taking us to the limo.

-Don't worry, we won't be going back to France in a long time- Maxon wasn't supposed to laugh while saying that, but even I smiled a bit.

-Something went wrong?- Marlee asked.

-The question is: Something went right?- she was pale white with my confession. –I'm just joking, I had a very good time, but the Emperor always finds a way of ruining everything…- she sighed a little relieved but she still held my hands concerned.

-Yes, she was drinking champagne with Princess Nicoletta and Princess Rajnandhini while the German Prime Minister was interrogating me about the Castes Elimination Project and its advances- I bit my lip.

-Sorry…- I said with a rueful smile.

-Don't worry, is good that you enjoyed it even just a bit…- then Silvia turned to see us from the front seat.

-Sorry to interrupt, but your sister's calling, your highness- she announced giving me the limo's phone, it was so great to have one!

-May?- I said shaking with excitement to hear her voice.

-_Princess America was surely the sweetest princess to attend The Royal Encounter, the king expressed their joy after meeting Prince Maxon's beautiful wife, and she is a royal scandal for sure. Now everyone inside Illéa and outside loves her- _she quoted the newspaper that I had been reading on the plane, they wouldn't dare to comment about the little incident we had with the Emperor. –You see? You're a star, America!- she said happily, I smiled.

-I'm glad you're pleased, at least someone is congratulation me by my behavior…- I really hoped that Silvia heard that.

-Good job, sis! And I haven't told you about those wonderful pictures of you two! They're like everywhere! The people is going crazy about them!- I froze for a moment.

-What pictures, May Singer? What pictures?!- I was close to explode of nervousness and shame. The three of my companions looked at me a little scared.

-The pictures of the Encounter, America Schreave Singer! Those pictures! Everyone says you look like and angel- she answered and we were all able to breathe again.

-Thank God, I was about to… you don't need to know that. How's Gerad and Mom?- I asked hoping that she's forget my stupidity.

-Gerad is still acting like a movie star with everyone he meets and Mom is dying to hear everything about your trip, when are you visiting us?- she asked.

-Soon, I promise, I… just have some Royal Issues to attend- I said turning my head to see Maxon. He didn't know but I already had asked Silvia to make sure that the doctor prepared everything for my examinations: fertile days, changes in my cycle, ultrasounds and stuff, I had to be pretty sure nothing would go wrong with my pregnancy, that if I was not already pregnant.

-You always have, geez! It looks like you're the only one who doesn't believe she's the Crown Princess yet!- she reminded me sounding annoyed.

-Well it's hard to believe it when you grew up next to a sister that acted like a princess all the time!- I giggled, I heard her snort.

-I knew I was fated to be someone important!- that was absolutely true, May had that spark that only special people had; If I was a scandal, she was a legend. Everyone loved May.

-Fine, Miss Important. Tell mom I'll go as soon as I can, give Gerad a kiss for me and… do me a favor, can you?- I lowered my voice tone.

-Anything you want, highness-

-If you find some kind of… scandalous pictures, please make sure that mom doesn't see them- she stayed silent for a bit.

-Mental Images, America!- she complaint.

-Just do it, please!- Silvia made sure that those pictures wouldn't be shown in France, but what about Illéa?

-Ok, fine! I will… but I'll have a permanent trauma, I hope you know that!- And she hung.

-Family troubles?- Carter asked.

-More like… marital activities troubles- Maxon was petrified next to me.

-Mother of God, I hope we never have those- Marlee whispered, but still I could hear her. She had no idea of how lucky she was to not be on the public eye all the time.

When we got to the palace, Silvia immediately took Marlee and me to the Women's room. All the way I prepared myself for her scolding, we sat and I looked down.

-That was insulting, princess! You don't know how angry the kings were!- she started, Marlee stroked my back.

-I'm sure I was far angrier, you didn't hear what he told me!- I knew that Silvia was worried about everyone else, but for once I wished that she understood the reason of my acts.

-Nothing is too bad for you to leave like that, highness! As a princess you have to keep understandable to every situation!- she reminded me once more.

-I know I'm a princess, Silvia. I perfectly understand that but I'm also a human being and I suppose that everyone deserves a little respect too, am I wrong?-.

-Of course not, highness. But I guess it would've been best for you to try and fix things with the Emperor instead of crying your eyes out and leave…-

-Well, I actually have a heart, Silvia! That man only made me remember how it felt to be a five at the eyes of someone who had always been more powerful and greater than I would even thought I could be… -I confessed, only after that night alone with my husband I understood why I felt so bad about it, I could hear Late King Clarkson's words with the voice of Emperor Cho, making me feel as I was nothing at all again, it was exactly the same. – You don't know what's it like to be watched by everyone who's expecting you to make a mistake to remind you that you never were someone important, that you were no one before you got married, being watched by those people who think that the only reason of your happiness is the fact that the prince pitied you…- I finished.

-Oh, America- Marlee whispered sadly.

-So, yes. If my mistake was running away of the first obstacle in my way, I accept the guilt… but you can't judge me for that…- Silvia stood quietly for a moment until someone knocked the door.

-I'll go- she said and opened the door for Aspen to come in, I forced myself to smile.

-Is good to have you back, highness- he greeted me, I hugged him and I remembered how comforting Aspen's hugs were, he made me feel fine right away.

-Thank you, I would've brought something to you but… I'm afraid I had no time – that trip was like the second trip I made in all my life, and it turned out like a complete disaster.

-Don't worry, princess. It's good enough to see you unharmed- he assured me and sat next to Marlee.

- Not physically, at least- Silvia didn't say a word, she just left.

-I heard that too, you alright? – He sounded concerned.

-How the hell do you know everything that happens with me? - He laughed. –Well, I'll get through it, it wasn't so bad-

-It was, actually. But you're strong, Mer, you've always been- I wish I could've acted strong when it happened, but it was already too late.

-Now, I have to focus on "fixing" things with the emperor…- Aspen's expression turned to anger.

-No way, America! The man insults you to death and you still are going to accept this stupid arrangement?-

-Yes, I am. I ran away from him once I'm not going to do it again!-

-This isn't a question of braveness, this is about justice!-

-Well it's not fair from me to stay idly, he wants to try me? Fine, he will! One way or another-

-Aspen, I don't think we should…- said Marlee trying to calm him.

-No, no wait! I can't believe what I just heard! So, you aren't doing this because of the alliance anymore, am I wrong? - Damn, why did he have to know me so well?

-Not your business, Aspen-

-No, hear me now, Mer! Did is not like you, you've never been a vengeful person…-

-Stop it! I'm tired of hearing you say how I was or how I wasn't! The America you met is gone now, I've grown! Let's face it, both of us have changed and that's exactly why I fell in love with Maxon! Ok? So stop it, please. - I was so mad at that moment that I didn't realize the weight of my words, Aspen looked hurt and disappointed.

-As you say, your highness. Anyways, the doctor said he was ready to see you, now I do understand why…- he stood and left.

-Maybe we should continue when you feel more calmed- Marlee said as sweet as always, she made a bow and left too. I sighed trying to control my anger, what was exactly happening to me? I felt uncomfortable and worried, like something bad was about to happen and I discharged all those emotions with the people who only tried to help me. I walked slowly to the nursery, feeling unsure.

-Are you feeling ok, highness? - Doctor Stevens asked me, he had not much working at the palace, but he was surely good at all he did.

-Just a bit stressed with all that's been happening- he continued to take a few blood samples.

-Well, you better try to calm down, highness. Stress is not good when you're trying to conceive…- he scolded me, I smiled a bit.

-If you say so. Oh, and doctor? If you could keep this as a secret, I would be more than thankful…- Maxon didn't need to know about my plans, he wasn't as worried about the baby thing as I was.

-I'll take this to my grave- he assured me. I took a deep breathe and tried to relax.

_The next morning I was reading some papers about the elimination of the eight cast,_ there was much progress and we almost had no more eights around the streets, I smiled to the good news. Someone knocked the door and as I had given Mary a day off, I myself went to open it.

-How's my pretty princess? - Maxon asked with a smile, he was carrying a little box.

-Feeling better I must admit, did you already see this? - He approached to my desk and saw the documents.

-Whoa, you've done a very good job, darling. This looks amazing- he kissed my cheek.

-Yes, I guess we're on our way to make Illéa a better place to live in. – The project was going perfectly, the idea was to first make the eights educated and capable enough to be sevens, then to make the sevens turn into sixes and like that until there was no cast left. This was just the first step but it was good to begin with.

-I guess you deserve a reward for such good work…-

-I do?-

-Yes, and you better open it before it suffocates in there- he gave me the box and I nervously opened it, God knows what was he bringing there and why would it be running out of air.

-Oh, dear…- I brought up a small cream colored kitten with blue eyes from its packaging; it looked at me scarily and meowed. –It's so cute, Maxon. Thank you! - I hugged him with my free arm.

- I just thought you may need some comfort after what happened and this little girl will be a good accompaniment when I can't be with you- I stroked my new pet's tiny head and she purred. When I looked to her eyes again I saw a stare that I had not seen in a long time, somehow familiar and friendly. It was the same feeling, it started being frightening but then I couldn't stop looking for comfort in those eyes.

-It's perfect, and I think I already have the name for this lady…- I smiled.

-Really? Great, we have to make a collar for her as soon as we can. So what's it going to be? - The kitty walked to meet Maxon's hand and she started playing with his fingers.

-Celeste- I answered firmly. He looked surprised.

-You sure?-

-Yes, she was my friend and although we had our troubles…-

-You really think so? - He said sarcastically

-She was someone so sweet and kind when I got to meet her true self, it'll be good to have her around once more, right? – My little Celeste was begging Maxon to hold her, but he just stroked her behind her ear.

-If that's how you want it, but maybe Celeste would be a little angry to be remembered because of a cat-

-Hey, I gave her name to a beautiful creature of nature, she can't ask for more! - Maxon and I laughed together. Someone knocked the door again.

-Come in- I said and Mr. McAffle entered my room looking concerned.

-Your highness, we have urgent news from New Asia- Great, as soon as Maxon was free to see me he had to leave again, it would be damn good to have Celeste around as my company.

-Sorry, dear. You heard it it's urgent- Celeste meowed like protesting and I scowled too.

-Oh, and Princess! Doctor Stevens wants to see you immediately- he had a suspicious look in his eyes.

-Thank you for the information- I left Celeste on my bed and I walked to the door with my husband.

-Are you sick or something? - He asked; I smiled so he wouldn't worry about it.

-No, I just… had some doubts about the pregnancy and stuff- I assured him, he nodded.

-Well, Good luck then. - He said.

-To you too- I gave him a quick kiss and we both went our separate ways. I didn't expect the results to come up so fast, I thought he would have to analyze them more, and it would have been so good to have some more time to analyze them. But still I was cheerful, if everything went right, we would be a typical family: Maxon, me, a baby and a cat.

When I got to the nursery, doctor Stevens looked disappointed while reading what could be the results of my exams. I shivered, that totally crushed my hopes.

-Is everything all right? - I asked sitting in front of his desk. He tried to smile but he couldn't, it must've been really bad news, I didn't know what to think.

-In other situations, highness, this wouldn't be so bad, but… I'm afraid that in your situation it is- he passed a hand trough his hair, I bit my lip. – I really could have never imagined that something like this would happen, highness, especially when you belong to a family of five…but it isn't a matter of genes- I started breathing heavily.

-Please just tell me what's going on- I just wanted to make it faster as it was evident that it would end wrong.

-I'm so sorry, highness. But I'm afraid that you have a uterine malformation, it would be dangerous to try anything and I have tried to find solutions but for now… this makes it impossible for you to conceive-.

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._


	6. A suitable candidate

In that moment I could swear that my beats were paralyzed, I forgot how to breathe and my head was spinning, his words were going round my head and stabbed my heart as a knife. 'How can this be happening? There's no way this can be true' that was all I thought.

"Are you… completely sure about this?" I asked with a broken voice while my eyes filled themselves with tears waiting for the confirmation to finally fall down to my cheeks, making the terrible theory become an unavoidable truth.

"Yes, highness. I'm afraid it's truth, the exams show it very clear, and I myself couldn't believe it either, but I'll find a solution, for now we should tell your servants to make sure they take good care of you." I was frozen in my misery, something like that just couldn't happen to me, how much more pain would I have to bear until something finally went right? I covered my mouth with one hand so he wouldn't listen to my sobbing; it took time for me to speak again.

"How is this even possible? Are you sure there's no mistake?" he shook his head looking sad.

"I'm so sorry, your highness. I wish I could've tell it to you earlier…" at that point there was no good reason to hide what I truly felt, I began to mourn, feeling the weight of the world on me. My tears burned like my resignation to failure, what would I do? How would you explain this to everyone? My tragedy meant not only a bad thing for me, but for all the crown and country. At that second I was a loner about to drown in the terrible destiny I had made for myself. Someone knocked the nursery's door making me shake and I had to stop the tears.

"His highness requires the presence of the princess, please" I recognized Mr. Leeroy's voice at my back, I sighed and stood up.

"Highness, you shouldn't really worry about other matters now that you know what's happening" Doctor Stevens surely sounded nervous and concerned, but what was the point of staying there and doing nothing? I said goodbye with a wave and followed Mr. Leeroy with a trembling step like the prisoner who walks to serve his sentence.

I got to Maxon's office with my eyes to the floor, the playback screen was on and my husband and Carter looked scared, the diplomats didn't look as uneasy as he did but they looked angry, how fast did the gossips get to the palace people's ears?

"You should see this, honey" he said while rubbing my arms, he had absolutely no idea of how big my sorrow was, the video played and for my good luck it was Emperor Cho who was talking.

"_Good morning, dear leaders of Illéa! Greetings from New Asia to you all, though you shouldn't be so happy about anything now. After the little incident we had at The Royal Encounter I've come to a conclusion: The princes have a big mouth but a small brain, It was very brave from you to defend your wife as you did, Prince Maxon, but still it was a bit was a little inappropriate and imprudent from you to say something like that, what would your parents think if they would've heard what I heard? You should be ashamed, but more than ashamed you should be scared. The warnings were sent not so long ago, and anyways you decided to proceed the way you did, so now… My proposal becomes a threatening, I'll give you three weeks and no more to report pregnancy news, if her highness isn't is not in gestation during that period, New Asia troops will attack your country and the territory of Illéa shall become monitored by our government, as it was once before. I wish you all the luck in the world and I'll wait for your answer so I can congratulate the princess when the time comes. Until then, your highnesses, it's time for you to start thinking straight and do something good for your beloved country."_ With his last word I was crying insanely again, no one seemed to notice and I somehow thanked that.

"This might sound crazy but… We must hasten all this matter, dear. We can't be sure that you're pregnant in one day, so three weeks seems good, I just can't believe that is actually happening! It's the worst thing I've ever heard! All this fuss because of a baby… but, anyways it has to be done. What did the doctor said?" Maxon always talked hurried when he was worried about something. In other occasion that would've been cute for me.

"I can't do it…" I whispered, he frowned and turned to see me steadily as I felt I was drowning in my tears.

"Darling, I know this is a bit complicated, but we have no other choice…" I stopped him before I could hear his deception reflected in his voice.

"I can't, Maxon, I really can't. It's not possible for me" he sighed sounding a little angry and tried to talk calmly.

"Could you please wait outside while we talk a bit?" he asked those who were present left, so he could release his scolding against me "I don't know what to think... if you're thinking selfishly or you just lost your mind, you did watch what he sent right?".

"I did…" I was far too scared at the moment to speak clearly.

"Then what the heck are you saying? It's a death threat you heard! You cannot just give it all up and sell your country because you don't want to have a kid!"

"It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't!" We both started yelling at each other.

"Why on earth can't you do it?"

"Because I'm infertile! You wanted the reason? Well, that's it!" saying those words hurt as much as the whole situation did.

"What? You mean it?" he took my hands but still I didn't see him eye to eye.

"You really think I would lie to you in a moment like this?" my crying confirmed his suspects and he approached to hold me tight.

"But what happened?" How could I answer calmly when he sounded as bad as I did?

"That's what the doctor said, I have a malformation inside my body and that makes it impossible for me to bear a kid…" In my life I thought I would have to say something like that, but sometimes things change so much that they don't even give you time to think about what you're doing.

"Oh God, America. I'm so sorry, dear…" what else could he say? But still, there was no way for him to feel the pain I felt.

"What are we going to do?" I tightened my arms more against his back, I was very frightened.

"I don't know, but I'll think about something… there's always a solution, my love. You don't have to worry about this" he asked me the impossible thing, he was more than wrong if he thought that I would be okay with all the problems that we had.

But still I didn't say a thing about that, I don't exactly know if someone else heard the scandal, and I didn't care. Maxon of course had to tell this to the parliament to look for a solution and they didn't react very well, I couldn't blame them though. I spent two days practically locked in my room, Mary and Marlee were about to go crazy with my attitude, it was the third day that my friend came to see me when she couldn't stand it anymore.

"With all respect, your highness. It's already enough! For the lord's sake you're going to get sick if you don't get out of here!" more than concerned she sounded angry, she sat next to me on the bed.

"You don't understand, Marlee…" I would face no one so my eyes kept looking to the floor.

"Well, maybe I don't. But I'm your friend and I hate to see how shattered you are because of this like if you would have chosen it, but you didn't, America, stop blaming yourself" she forced me to look at her, she looked sad too.

"Do you have a better suggestion of what to do? I'm a disaster, Marlee! It's the only thing that any woman in the world can do and I can't!"

"It could have happened to anyone, America. It's not just you, there's thousands of people who feel the same way and you don't see them praying for their lives to end! "

"Well, the thing changes when a whole country is watching you!"

"Since when do you care about that?"

"Since my people is being threatened by my misery!" now, we both were crying inconsolably "I always tried to do my best so Illéa wouldn't have to suffer because of the monarchy anymore, I knew better than anyone the kind of life that we have because of the crown's mistakes, I had the power to change that but the only thing that I've done is putting them in danger, and the only truth is that there's no possible solution for this. And that's actually why I feel shattered" she took my hands.

"You think you're the only one suffering because of this? You think you're the only one who hasn't slept or eaten in all this time? Not really, Mer, We too have been crying night and day because this is happening, but tears won't wash away our problems, and that's why I came here, it's time for us to stand still and think about a solution, although we may not have any pride left, we still have hope. You have to know you're not alone in this, you'll never be, because more than being my princess… you're my best friend in the entire world, and I would go to hell and back to free your soul from all this useless drama, I'm tired of shedding desperate tears too, Mer… I'm tired of feeling destroyed" I felt guilty, she was the only one who said a word to me in 3 days, there was no use in focusing in my own pain. I hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I was selfish and thought that no one could feel the same" my eyes hurt for crying so much, tears may not wash the problems away but they sure help you unburden.

"That's the thing of being surrounded by people who love you, grief and love are always shared" she wiped my tears.

"I just don't know what to do, I never felt so lost" I wish I could have talked more with her, but someone entered my room.

"Your highness, we require your presence. We might have found a solution for our troubles" announced Mr. Leeroy, I nodded and wondered what could it be, how could I have known that things would only get worse? Marlee didn't let go of my hand and together we went Maxon's office.

"Greetings, princess" I was surprised to see Doctor Stevens there showing pictures of my insides, he seemed to be better about my unfortunate situation, was I the only selfish one? And, damn! That was a selfish thought too!

"Could you tell me again what's with the princess' body?" Maxon talked as he wouldn't even notice me.

"Of course, Highness. As you can see here there's a little thing over here that stops the conception to be done, but if we supposed that the conception would actually happen the birth would be dangerous and even mortal for the princess, I've done research for cures or treatments and the best option would be surgery" So that was his solution, I had a little hope once again.

"But…?" and Mr. McAffle had to talk!

"But, it would take time and we would need more analysis and tests to see if an implant is needed or maybe to remove some skin".

"And how much time would that take?" I asked.

"Three weeks of testing and six more for recovery and final examinations" what was the point of saying something like that if it was impossible still?

"And by the time that the princess would be healed, our nation would be property of New Asia. So, with the parliament we've developed a secret project for safety and welfare of all. Just need the approval of their majesties and we will continue to do as planned" Mr. Leeroy said.

"What exactly have you thought?" I couldn't believe that Maxon was actually going to hear a word from them.

"Well, your highness, we've thought it trough and the best solution seems to be… a womb rental" Marlee froze next to me and I myself wasn't feeling very well either.

"You mean, hiring a substitute?" he asked.

"Of course, with the princess being incapable of becoming pregnant it's surely a problem, but taking in consideration that she's not the one with royal blood any other girl who's willing to serve her country would give a child as it's needed" He sounded so pleased with his idea, I had to talk.

"And can we be sure that the result would be a boy?" he looked at me with a death glare.

"There's always ways to fix a marriage, highness. And we have to remember that the Emperor has many nephews too" that was it.

"And who would you think could be right to bear with the future prince?" Maxon didn't sound like him at all, and I thought that he was the only one who could understand me.

"We'll look for suitable candidates, your highness. Only if you're willing to do it, of course"

"No more talking then, please prepare all the necessary, we have no time to lose" Saying that I was shocked with his attitude wasn't enough to explain what I was feeling, not freaking out would have been unnatural.

"Excuse me? I believe that I haven't been asked if I'm okay with this!" I stood up hoping Maxon to look at me, he was obviously avoiding me, but as always his "helpers" had to talk when I wasn't saying anything to them.

"Highness, it's an urgent matter we're talking about, and the prince has left very clear that this has to be done as soon as possible."

"Well this idea is even worse than the first one! Can you buy a woman's kid, really? Is that the way you want to fix things?" if he didn't turn to face me, I would have sent everything to hell.

"Highness, please…" Mr. Phillies wanted to say, as shakily and intrusive as always, but Maxon stopped it.

"Do you think we have another option, America? I've thought everything until my head hurt ad there's no other solution! You want to see Illéa destroyed by the Emperor's whims?" so he was the one who was angry when he didn't have reasons to be.

"I didn't say that, but this is completely ridiculous and insane! It's inhuman to even think of doing something like that!" at that moment I thought something very cruel, but while hearing him I couldn't help of realizing how much he resembled his father, he could turn very cold and firm if the situation required it.

"Tell me what am I supposed to do then? You have a better idea? Or you're just suggesting that we have to sacrifice our country because you cannot think even a minute in someone who isn't yourself? Just answer, America! Do you think we can take this as a little problem and that's it when everything we have is in danger? This whole matter may seem insane but we can't change it! Things are what they are and you can't always change them, I guess that's something you never understood" what could have I said when he ended me with that? It looked like everyone had managed to destroy me with their words, but I never thought he would be the one to hurt me the most. I wouldn't take no more and I refused to shed any more tears, I got out as quick as I could and Marlee followed me. I didn't know exactly where I was going; Silvia didn't talk to me either so why would have gone to the Women's room? I just walked and walked all over the palace trying to get that fire out of my body, I was about to go insane.

"America, wait! We can fix this" Marlee was tired of following me, of course.

"No, we can't! You know what? I'm tired of trying if I know I'm going to fail anyways! I'm tired of being pushed aside of every single thing that happens in here, for them I'm nothing but a pretty accessory for the prince. In fact, do you even know what every prince needs a princess? To have heirs! But as I cannot even do that I'm officially out of his business, you get that?" I should have felt bad looking at her worried expression, but I was far too mad with the entire people.

"I do highness. You should take some time…" she left and I somehow thanked her for that, she didn't have to stay and hear my mourning. But still I needed someone who could understand me, and who could have been better that the one who called me at my back?

"You alright, Mer?" I turned to see Aspen, he looked concerned too. I shook my head and he approached and hugged me, it felt so right being with him when the entire world was against me once again.

"You heard?" I asked trying to not sound sad, he nodded.

"I couldn't believe it, Mer. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but there must be a way to solve this…"

"There is, and Maxon's perfectly fine with it…" he scowled.

"What do you mean? You already know what to do?" I smiled resigned to let him know everything.

"They will find a substitute for having Maxon's kid" now, he looked terribly upset.

"Can they do that? But, you're the princess! It's you who has to do it, not any other girl…" once again he said what I already knew.

"I can't" I said with a sad smile. "It is according to the plan and I'm afraid I've been sidelined"

"This can't be true… that motherfucking Emperor. I swear that if I could I would go back to New Asia and return with his head in my hands" I took his hand.

"Would you give it to me to keep it in my room?" we both laughed, it felt like years since I laughed the last.

"A princess doesn't keep such awful things in her room, but you deserve much better than this… I'm sorry I was such a douche with you, you have many reasons to feel vengeful" he stroked my cheek.

"More than vengeful I feel defeated, I've always tried to the best no matter what the consequences would be, but now I have no courage left, Aspen. They've taken everything away from me…"

"I've always wondered why the worst things happen to the best people" If I was luckier, he would have stayed longer but then Officer Deaton, the head officer came to us.

"I'm sorry, highness, but Officer Leger should be in training right now" he scolded Aspen; he just showed a tender smile.

"My bad, I shouldn't distract him. Please go back to your duties" with his lips he said: Sorry, I answered: It's ok. After that I went to my room, there wasn't anyone else I wanted to see, at least not inside the palace, so I decided to write a letter to my family and when I finished it I read one of my favorite books one again. As I didn't know every paragraph and word in it.

It was awfully late when the alarm woke me up, I had fell asleep on my desk, my eyes hurt a bit and I was totally uncomfortable but what I felt at the moment was panic. I tried to look for Mary in the darkness of my room, wondering if there was the tiny possibility that she could be there. I opened the door to Maxon's room but he wasn't there either, someone entered my room and I stood still carefully watching to confirm he wasn't the enemy.

"Please, tell me you're here, Mer!" I ran to meet Aspen.

"What's happening? " I took him by the shoulders so he could calm down a bit and explain something to me.

"Rebel attack as always, Officer Deaton said this could happen but not so soon. It's terrible, Mer! They've always been a big group but now there's more of them" my heart stopped at that moment, the southern rebels were a strong group and it was even more dangerous if their alliance grew.

"Where's my husband?" he shook his head and took me by the hand leading me to the closest refuge.

"Someone must have taken him already, there's no one at the office…" only God could know where he was, I tried to stay calmed but although I was hurt by him I couldn't help of feeling that a part of me was missing. We heard the sound of a window being broken.

"I can see the princess!" A man shouted from the outside.

"This is bad, get in, quickly!" I pulled the release lever while Aspen pointed to anything with his gun, but it did not open. I tried over and over again and the screams and exclamations became even louder.

"It's stuck" Aspen turned to me desperate and just broke it, thank God for his reflexes, the door opened and I got in, but he wouldn't follow me, when he turned to leave again I took him by the hand.

"I can't stay here, Mer. You know that, but I'll come back for you" I was shivering with fright.

"I know, just… take care of yourself…" He nodded and kissed my cheek, after a second I was all alone inside there, listening as everything around me was destroyed, so I thought it would only be worse if the Emperor attacked, all that violence would be present every day and who knows where would he take or do with us. But what if he discovered we tried to fool him with the child? What if he knew that the kid wasn't mine? It didn't sound so bad taking in consideration that he hated me badly_, 'Maybe, it is the best you can do. You're tired of trying, uh? Give up then, let him do things right. You're nothing but a troublemaker…' _ That was my final thought. I stayed there for two hours maybe until I heard someone approaching.

"Aspen?" I whispered next to the door.

"She's alright" he opened the door, he was hurt, there was blood coming out of his lip and he had wounds everywhere, I was alright but he wasn't.

"Oh God" I took his head in my hands to look at him better.

"I can assure you that he's fine" said Maxon next to us; I didn't count on having him there.

"Are you?" I tried to take his hand but he moved away.

"I try to be" how come could he be jealous? They got along very well! I smiled to Aspen and followed Maxon to wherever he was going.

"So now it's you who's hurt?" he stopped in the middle of the hall and turned to see me.

"No, I just like watching my wife looking for comfort with someone else!"

"I would have gone with you if you had not acted like that today. What the hell was that?" he sighed angrily.

"Don't mix things, America. This is completely deferent"

"No, it's not. It's the same, actually, have you heard about cause and consequence?"

"Ok, fine. You still want to fight about this? We will!" who was him at that moment? He didn't sound like the man who promised me all his love once.

"I don't want to fight; I want you to listen to me! If you don't do it, who will then?"

"I don't know! Why don't you try with Aspen?" I was so frustrated and he acted so ridiculously.

"This has nothing to deal with Aspen, this is about me! And only me, why are you blaming him? I felt bad and he's my friend, he obviously was trying to help me!"

"Help you with what? The only reason I did that is because of you! I wouldn't have done it if you…" Oh, he wasn't about to say that, if he said it that would be done.

"If I… what? If I was capable of having children? Thank you very much for doing this for me, you're always so caring!" no matter what, he had his ways to make me cry even when that was my latest hobby.

"It's not my fault…" that was all he was going to say?

"I'm not saying it is; it's just that… This is too rushed, Maxon. You heard what the doctor said; with a surgery I would be fine! I just need some time…" I definitely got to his nerves.

"We don't have time, America! Time is not an option for us; you know what the Emperor is trying to do!"

"But it doesn't make sense! It's a baby we're talking about not a peace offer!" How could I make him understand when he was so closed with his own thoughts?

"Well, there's nothing I can do! You choose, it's your precious time or is it Illéa, you cannot have both. I've thought it over and over again and there's no other solution. This is not the time for the rebellious and reckless America Singer to show up and try to change everything with just one blink! So please, don't try to do it, I beg you…... no, I demand you to stay out of it" since when did he demand me something?

"Isn't that what I'm doing just now?" He was completely blinded with his concerns.

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't choose this, Maxon; you did it on your own. You said it! Anyways I'm out of this, because there's no way for you to look farther than what everyone tells you… Fine, I'll do as you say, Highness. You're not talking to me as my kind and fair husband right now; you're talking as the heir of King Clarkson's throne. And you don't know how scared I am that you may have no heart left…" that took us both by surprise; I said the exact same thing I was thinking.

"America!" this time, I moved away from him.

"Just… leave me alone" I decided to go to my room on my own, there was nothing more to say.

The next morning he called me again for discussing the matter about candidates, but when I got there he was on the phone talking about something else with someone else.

"… with all that's happening, is amazing that we have to think about the rebels too, August."

"_Hey, we are rebels too and we're not a problem for you! Right? Georgia, Nerissa won't stop crying!"_

"Of course not, how's the father life over there?"

"_It's great, it really is. A little tiring but good still, poor America… I still can't believe this"_

"She feels awful, I wish there was a way for me to… I don't know, help her somehow"

"_Well, I cannot be sure about that but, if you have any other problem with those southern pests, you just tell me. We'll protect you from the inside of the palace if we have to!"_

"And how exactly are you going to do that?"

"…_Uh, it's a metaphor, man! What I meant is that we'll take care of you in any possible way"._

"That's very nice from you, August…"

"Highness, is the prince okay?" Mr. Leeroy touched my arm and I shook part for the surprise and part for what August said to my husband.

"I can't really say I just got here" lies, lies everywhere.

"Well, there's no time to lose, let's get in" said Mr. McAffle and he opened the door letting us all in.

"Ah, good afternoon, gentlemen. America" I knew his eyes were on me, but I didn't want to look at him and see those furious eyes again.

"As you know, we've done much research for the suitable candidates, and we may have found the right one to help us" announced Mr. McAffle with a stupid smile on his face. This was somehow familiar, like The Selection itself but instead Maxon was looking for the mother of his child.

"I'm dying to know" I said, they all detected the sweet sarcasm in my voice.

"I bet you are, princess. To make this a little easier we've decided to choose a person who was very close to you and with whom you can get along well so you can support each other in this difficult task, she also said that she's ready to help in every way she can and I must add that she's a very respectful and centered lady". Someone close to me, who could she be?

"I don't think that anyone that is close to me would be willing to do something like this…" I was searching inside my head: Marlee? No, Mary? Hell no, May? I wouldn't let that happen ever in my life!

"We said that she was very close to you once before, and also very close to the prince. Someone you have much in common with, highness…"

"Could you just tell me who she is?" all that mystery was getting me nervous.

"Miss Kriss Ambers"

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._


	7. A sweet reunion

"What?! You mean the Kriss Ambers?" I just couldn't believe what I was hearing, my hands were sweating and the world seemed to be spinning faster making me dizzy.

"Yes, the same you met three years go. Isn't it wonderful, princess?" said Mr. Leeroy with that stupid smile on his face, I stood from my seat facing him angrily; I'd show him how wonderful that idea seemed to me.

"Wonderful would be if you could shut that silly mouth of yours when you're supposed to, I'm not accepting that!" I was yelling of course, refusing to give in to them.

"America, for the love of God, we already talked about this…" Maxon sighed annoyed, what was with him lately? Maybe the parliament had already burned his brain to ashes.

"Oh, so you mean you agree? Really? Because I'm not taking it, I'm not going to let that woman have my husband's kid!"

"Could you give us a reason why not?" asked Mr. McAffle who seemed not to be hearing just a second ago.

"Excuse me?" I said shocked.

"Do you have a problem with Mrs. Ambers?" of course I had, but I couldn't say something like that, what would they think if I told them that once I was so jealous of Kriss that I wanted to rip her head off for even thinking about Maxon that in that time wasn't my husband yet?

"Not really, but… It just doesn't sound right, Mr. McAffle" I answered more calmly, _'Thanks for the good reaction, America. You sank yourself alone'_ my mind scolded me.

"Dear, do you think it would be better to let someone we don't know have the baby? It would be much easier if she helps us, as we actually know and trust her" he was really thinking about it? Oh, right, he didn't give a damn about what I thought!

"Exactly, could you ask Kriss to sell her child for stopping a war?" it was not fair for anyone, not for her, not for the kid, not for us, not for the entire nation.

"Miss Ambers said she's willing to do anything she can to help Illéa, princess." Mr. McAffle assured me, like that could help.

"But doesn't it seem a little cruel to you?"

"When it comes to my country, there's nothing I wouldn't do, highness" he replied sounding mysterious, there was definitely something he was hiding.

"And besides, time is running, highness. We have only two weeks to prepare this matter or we'll lose everything!" said Mr. Phillies almost having a heart attack, so I wasn't the only one.

"Maxon…" I called him, he hesitated but still looked at me with those eyes I loved crazily, and it made me cry "I'm begging you, I could accept everything you ask me to… everything but this, please don't do it, I wouldn't handle it, I would die trying… I know there must be something else we can do, this isn't the answer…" what he said would be the end of everything, maybe he would agree or maybe not, I just needed to know what was going through his mind.

"Think about how many lives are in risk, America. Then you can tell me what's best to do" so that was it, I wasn't going to try anything anymore, he wouldn't listen anyways, was he being prudent or was it just that he didn't want me to take place in that huge problem?

"Fine, then… I promised to the eyes of God that I would always be on your side, and I will… but don't ask me to be okay with this, because I never will" there was nothing more I could say, to anyone.

"Perfect, we'll contact Miss Ambers to tell her the good news right now" the three of them and I went to the door which Mr. Leeroy opened for me and spoke to my ear.

"It's important to know when you have to give up, highness" I had even lost his respect, it was so ridiculous and unfair, if I wouldn't have felt like my heart was beating slower I would've thought it was a dream, but it wasn't, it was so real that it hurt. I kept my eyes to the floor, refusing to see my shame in the eyes of someone else.

I walked to my room slowly, with the feeling that I was dying in the inside, this whole matter was destroying everything that was important for me, my country, the man I loved, even my dream of my blonde haired baby was fading away, leaving a sorrowful and unbearable scar instead. Why was that all happening? Why couldn't I be the mother of Maxon's first kid? Why on earth had Kriss to be it, why couldn't it be someone else? Was I being punished for something? What did I do to deserve such pain? I was just heartbroken, I had no pride left. And I didn't notice that I was crying until I fell on my bed and Celeste looked at me with sad cat eyes

"It looks like we won't have a prince, baby girl. At least not one that's mine" I stroked her head. I asked myself how could I manage to see Kriss again, watching her bearing my husband's son and then hearing the baby's cries, looking Maxon hold a kid that wasn't mine, putting him to bed or kissing his forehead, looking the little boy grow and calling him father, or running to Kriss' arms when he was hurt or when he was scared, a child being an unbreakable bond for them both, I had never felt so sad in my life, not even when I saw Aspen with someone else, not when Maxon was about to send me home with a broken heart. So what Mr. Leeroy said was not totally right, you actually never have to give up, but it is important to when you've already lost. My plan was to stay there and drown in my own tears, but then I heard Marlee screaming like crazy, she was mad of course when she entered my room.

"No freaking way! You're really going to do this?" her voice sounded more like a scolding than a consolation and I didn't know if I could manage someone else questioning and make me feel down again.

"If you came here to yell at me, it's not a good time "I said bringing Celeste to my chest, her purrs made me feel better.

"No, of course not. I just can't believe it…" she sat next to me on the edge of the bed, "Kriss? What the hell does she have to deal with this?" she stroked my shoulder.

"Well, she's becoming the royal mother. She's the one and she's lucky to be it…" Marlee sighed; I wondered how miserable I could make her feel.

"And I guess there's nothing you can do?" I nodded sadly.

"This time the game's over for me, my friend. She will have Maxon's son and I have to stay out of it, for more ridiculous that it sounds" I showed a depressed smile "I have to stay out of the fact that my husband is having a kid with another woman, can you believe it?"

"Why do the worst things always happen in here?" she said as a tear fell from her beautiful eyes, I wiped it.

"Because this is the place where the power is held, maybe I'm paying for King Clarkson's mistakes… of maybe his making me pay for what I did to him" she held my hand strongly as I felt her scars.

"You have nothing to regret, America. You're the kindest person I've ever known, in a world full of unfairness and tragedy, you're the one that's the brightest"

"I don't want you to feel sad anymore, ok? None of us, I'll get through this, I promise. With time, I might get to be fine with it…"

"How can you? Nobody deserves to go through this, we're talking about the love of your life, you fought so much to finally win Maxon's heart and now you're just going to let anyone have his kid?"

"You're right, he is the love of my life, but now we're talking about our country, Marlee. There are some sacrifices I must do in order to protect Illéa… and that's exactly what Maxon's doing too" I assured her.

"But sacrificing your own heart? This is a scar that will never go away, America!"

"It's the price I have to pay to keep our freedom, no matter how much it hurts… this more than just me"

"You're such an angel" she hugged me tight and like that I couldn't hide my tears any longer, I felt desperate, but still I had to think about someone who wasn't me, as Maxon said, I had to think about my country, my family and all the people I know, I would never forgive myself if I let everything go to hell, what was the point of making a fuss and then letting New Asia take control? It was no use and I had to accept it. That was the way I comforted myself: There's always worse things that could happen.

The next days I felt like I was in a bubble, everyday was the same, I went to the Woman's room and worked along with Marlee and Silvia, never smiling or laughing about anything, I thought that was the best way to keep the sorrow away and focusing on what was really important, the rest of the day I spent alone, I sometimes didn't feel hungry or tired, but still Mary was worried about me and she constantly asked me if I was alright, but the answer was always the same: "I could be worse". The day finally came and I didn't stop it from happening, a "sweet" reunion someone would've called it, but absolutely no one could know about my little problem and the fact was Kriss was coming to the palace and only God knows how long she would stay.

"She is really coming, uh?" I opened the door that led me to Maxon's room, he looked as tired and sad as I did, I couldn't understand why, he had been depressed too in those days, but he didn't seem to have a reason to be.

"She is, she actually is coming right now, America. Please don't try to make me change my mind once again" he stood from the bed and tried to go to the front door, I stopped him.

"I'm not going to do that, but I need to know if you're ok…" he wasn't looking at me and I figured he needed another reason to speak up "I heard you last night, you were crying..." I confessed, he finally gave in and hid his face in my shoulder, as I felt his tears falling from his eyes again.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this, you don't deserve it, America. And I feel like a total jerk for asking you to stay out of it, but I can't stand the idea of watching you facing this matter! I'm so sorry, darling" I stroked his hair trying to comfort him, I was such a fool of course he was feeling terrible too, it was such an awful situation, it couldn't be easy for anyone.

"It's not your fault, Maxon; you're the only one that has been thinking straight all this time. If it would've been me I would've sent Illéa to hell for not thinking about other solution, but you did… you were never a selfish person and you're not being it now, I'm not blaming you for this" I assured him taking his wet cheeks in my hands.

"I promised myself that I would make you the happiest woman in all the world, but every time I see you sad, I can't help of thinking that I've ruined your life, I was selfish for not setting you free, America, you deserve freedom more than anything else, but I couldn't live without you…" I shook my head.

"What are you saying? Sending me away wouldn't have been setting me free, it would've been making my life miserable for the rest of my days, I don't care if I have to live in hell everyday and sacrifice all I have for my people, If that means I get to spend next to you every moment, I would say yes over and over again. I love you, Maxon; nothing would ever change that, ok?" I couldn't believe that he thought something like that, our life was hard, it's true, but nothing was so bad for making me change my mind about him and the path I chose.

"I love you too, I wish I could do something to ease the pain you feel" I smiled tenderly and gave him a kiss on his check.

"You just stay by my side, ok? We'll get through this together; we'll protect Illéa no matter what" I had to let him know that I was with him always, even if that meant to see him having children with someone else.

"Why can't I be as strong as you are?" he sighed.

"Hey, you have the brain and I have the braveness, remember?" we both giggled.

"So, you're accepting this?"

"Is there anything else I can do?" I was obviously forcing myself to accept the unbearable, but if that was the only thing I could do for Maxon when it came to that, I would do it.

"Thank you" he stroked my cheek "I couldn't do this without you"

"You don't have to ask me not to leave you alone, I would do it anyways" I took his hand and he pressed his lips against mine, in that second I felt the most joyful I had felt in days, I needed him too, I figured that the reason why I was so sad and angry all the time was because I thought that he wasn't thinking about me anymore, that he didn't care about what I felt, but now I just felt guilty for that, how could I even imagine that the man that loved me more than he loved his life could stop caring about me? All that he did, he did it for me and I had to understand that.

"Well, we still have a little time before the guest comes" he took me in his arms and led me to the bed, It took only seconds for us to throw our clothes away and start to breathe heavily as we became one; it had its benefits to not be able to have children.

I lost myself in the most beautiful view in the entire world, Maxon's tired but satisfied expression and the feeling of his naked body against mine, my head resting on his chest hearing his heart, it was just perfect.

"Will I ever be able to make it up to you?" he said while stroking my back. I released a little laugh.

"You don't have to do it, it's natural, and we do it all the time" I reminded him, he smiled brightly.

"No, I mean this whole baby thing; I know it's not easy for you and…" I stopped his words with a soft kiss.

"There's no need to do it, Maxon… but if you really want to reward me" I thought about a better idea than the one I had in the beginning.

"Anything you want" he answered, I smiled.

"Well, what do you think of a little surgery and then having kids of our own?" I proposed and he kissed me once more.

"That sounds perfect" maybe that little dream of a cute family wouldn't be so far away, Kriss' child would help us to make New Asia and ally and the emperor would never know that the kid wasn't mine, but then we could have babies that were actually made by both of us. Then someone knocked in the door, I would lie if I say that I wasn't a little disappointed and pissed but still Maxon had to answer.

"Is something wrong?" he said, I heard my maids laughing outside the room; they were so nosy and we were terribly predictable.

"Not really, your highness. Miss Ambers just arrived to the palace and the parliament requires both of you" I sighed annoyed, why do they always had to ruin the moment.

"Thank you for the info, we'll be out in a second" I could swear I was scowling, but he only chuckled happily. "Don't worry, dear, we'll have much more time to continue with our marital activities" he kissed my forehead and got out of the bed.

"Yeah, right. I want to hear you saying that when Kriss is pregnant with your kid" I complained and it was like something appeared in my head. "Wait a bit! You're going to… I mean you and her… are going to…" I couldn't even pronounce those words, even the thought that Kriss could be in my place with Maxon made me feel sick.

"Oh, of course not, dear! It'll be an insemination, I won't even see Kriss if you don't want to" he said while putting his clothes on again, that was the worst part when I was so used to see him wearing nothing, it almost hurt.

"That would be great, actually" I wrapped myself in the sheet and hugged him by his back.

"Since when are you so jealous, America Schreave?" he turned his head to kiss my cheek.

"Since I entered the Selection, actually, you know how hard was it to watch you being cute with other 34 girls? Then he took me by waist making me face him.

"I can't imagine how awful it must've been" and his lips met mine again as I rested my arms on his shoulders making him get closer to me, I didn't want to face that there was other people in the world, I didn't want to think that the reality was so cruel, I just wanted to have him next to me every second of the day, but I couldn't.

"We have to meet Kriss" I reminded him; he gave me a little kiss on the nose and smiled.

"Right, we're supposed to be responsible" we finished dressing ourselves and tried to fix our tired expression it might've been no use but still we had to try.

I felt like dying again, I had to breathe deeply and held Maxon's hand to have the enough strength to see Kriss again and watch my past reflected in her eyes, all that struggle, al the pain of my last days as a candidate, she somehow reminded me all of that. But still the palace's gates opened, the entire parliament was there and as we went down the stairs I saw her face once again, she still looked like she was 19, she hadn't changed not a bit and still she showed a kind smile in her pretty face.

"So good to see you again! I'm so glad you're alright" she hugged me; I have to admit that I had missed her too, Kriss might not be my favorite person in the world, but she still was a very good friend and good person.

"I'm as alright as I can be" I assured her trying to sound happy.

"Kriss, it's always an honor to have you here" she hugged Maxon too, _'Come on, don't burn with jealousy now! You promised, America, be strong!'_ I swallowed my angriness and smiled to her too.

"I heard you've been having troubles and I was so worried about you, but now I'm relieved to see that you're fine. Still, I'm so sorry this is the reason why I have to visit you" damn, why did she sound so honest? Why was she so angel- like? Why couldn't I just hate her?

"Thank you for caring about us so much, and don't worry… it's so nice from you to try to help" I decided it would be better if Maxon didn't say a word to her; it was strange to feel that threatened by her when I was the princess and his wife.

"Oh, America. I would do anything I can to help you, I came as soon as I heard you needed me… oh, wait! I'm supposed to call you highness right?" she even was cute when she made a mistake! It would be like hell to try not to feel so jealous about her.

"It's ok, you're my friend, you can call me whatever you want to" and that was the same thing I told everyone.

"You haven't changed a bit" she said happily.

"Neither have you" she was still the same girl I had to share Maxon's heart with once, and now I had to started doing it again, my husband wouldn't love her of course, but he would love her child, unless I would've sent the baby to New Asia as soon as he or she was born, but that would've been cruel, I was surely angry but the baby wasn't guilty about that. We guided her into the palace and for our good luck Marlee and Carter were looking for us.

"Marlee?" Kriss said joyful but Marlee just froze at the view, she didn't look so happy but I gave her a death glare so she would smile too.

"Kriss! It has been so long" she laughed and approached to kiss her cheek, Carter asked something with his lips: Who the hell is she? , 'She's the mother of my kid' I answered and he nodded.

"Right, how have you been?" she took Marlee's hands.

"Oh, you know how the married life is…" she winked at me and I smiled.

"Not really, I'm not married… If I was I wouldn't be here" she answered, really? Miss Kriss Ambers aka sunshine didn't have any suitors? The whole country loved her! Or maybe it was the fact she was a rebel, but who on earth could know that?

"Oh, sorry then, but… thank you for coming anyways! Silvia told me to lead you and the princess to the woman's room so we can discuss your duties a little more privately" she took my hand.

"Sure. I'll see you later, honey" I kissed my husband on the cheek and walked to the Woman's room along with Marlee and Kriss, with so many "friends" of mine there we only needed the other 31 girls to make a "Selection candidates reunion" but I wouldn't do that, not without Celeste, and I wouldn't take my cat!

"You have to tell me everything about the palace, America! I was so excited to be back!" and I couldn't think a good reason why, oh wait! She was going to have the crown prince's kid, how couldn't she be excited?

"That's good, you know… taking in consideration that you're here for the wrong and not so good reasons" Marlee looked a bit concerned.

"What are you saying?" she asked a little confused, Marlee smiled kindly.

"I'll wait for you inside" and she got in, it would've been easier to control myself if she had stayed.

"Look, Kriss, this is a really difficult matter for me and I'm not blaming you when you have done nothing wrong, it's just that… If I act a little cold around you, I beg you to understand my reasons" I had to explain the pain I was feeling so she didn't think I hated her.

"I completely do, America. And I don't want you to feel bad around me or anything, I just came here to help" she assured me.

"And I know you came here with the best intentions but… just try to think about it. All I want in the world is to give Maxon everything he wants, and not being able to do this, just breaks my heart, it's not like it's your fault but… I can't help of feeling a little hurt…"

"Why? I don't mean to make you feel bad"

"I know you don't, but… you're someone special to me, Kriss, it's obvious that I'm a little uneasy with this, it feels like betrayal" I started feeling a little dizzy and not understanding the weight of my words

"Ok, if you think I came here to steal Maxon away from you or something, please reconsider it… don't misunderstand what I'm doing"

"Of course not, but… you have to have a clear idea of what is your place in here" I closed my eyes hoping that could make me feel better.

"I perfectly know that, America. You don't need so much drama; I'm not going to do anything I'm not supposed to, I'm not that kind of woman, ok?"

"I didn't say you were…" I leaned against the wall.

"Well, your words say another thing, you should thank me for being willing to do this" now she sounded angry, but I didn't mind, I couldn't think about anything.

"You're here just because I can't do it, I know that… but you had once feelings for Maxon and that makes me feel insecure" I started shaking, what was wrong with me?

"But it's over! You won, ok? You're the princess, Maxon chose and loved you and only you and I'm not here to change that so don't say that kind of things to me"

"I don't really know what I'm saying right now" I felt empty somehow, and it seemed like the earth was breaking under me and I couldn't see her face anymore, her words sounded distant to me.

"Oh, please, don't pretend that you're sick, it's pitiful, especially on a princess!"

"No, really, Kriss. I'm not ok!"

"You already said what you said, America! Don't try to fool me!"

"I'm not trying anything, I just…" I didn't get to finish my sentence; all the strength I had left was gone, the light faded away, and the coldness of my own blood made me shiver, I couldn't feel my body anymore and all I saw was darkness.

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._


	8. Disappointed at the one you most love

I woke up making a great effort to open my eyes, everything was blurry and I could hear voices but not understand what they were saying, unfortunately I noticed that Kriss was there too, I could hear her trying to calm Maxon. I was at the nursery of course, laying in one of the beds and my husband held my hand, he was so cold, he must've been frightened.

"Darling, are you ok?" he asked me when I finally could see him clearly.

"I think so… do you have any idea of what happened to me?" my head felt heavy and I started to shake a bit.

"Since when haven't you eaten?" he asked with a worried but still acussing look.

"Since they told me…" I gave a quick glance to Kriss, I didn't want to hurt her after all I had said but he asked it, I bit my lip " that we were going to have visits" he sighed.

"Three days? I know you're a bit risky, but suicidal?" I was a bit embarrased, was I overreacting?

"I was depresive, don't blame me…" I tried to sit on the bed, bad idea I was still a bit dizzy.

"I didn't know you were feeling so bad, sorry…" said Kriss, she didn't look at me but her tone expressed guilt somehow.

"No, I was terribly rude with you, I might feel sick but that doesn't mean I had to treat you like that…" I was probably blushed, what was happening to me? Why was I sad at the point of fainting?

"It's ok, you should get some rest for now, I'll go see the doctor to tell him you're awake" she went out, I took a deep breath.

"I guess you were about to lose your head?" he showed a tender smile and stroked my hand.

"You have no idea… Kriss was screaming like crazy, she got really scared and I… for a moment I thought, I just saw you so pale and I almost died, just when I thought things were going to be better… is all this fuss really about Kriss, America?" he had his doubts of course, but he didn't see farther than what he thought was happening.

"No, not at all! Kriss is not the center of my world!" I tried to explain myself.

"Who is it then?" I was surprised that he didn't know it.

"You are…" my voice broke. "You know… when I finally figured that I had lost it all?" he shook his head slowly, I showed a sad smile "When I understood that I couldn't give you what you deserve or you need, this isn't about who's having your baby or not… it's the fact that it can't be me" he got closer to hug me softly.

"You know I don't blame you for this" he might not, but I did, it wasn't like I could've changed it. Things were what they were at that moment, but instead of trying to move on I just drowned in my own misery.

"You don't need to be sorry about a thing. It's not anyone's fault, actually… I've been so theatrical these days, I won't do it again, I promise…" that little accident was like a sign that I had to stop feeling like the whole world was going to hell, I had to accept it and move on, after all… there's no pain that lasts a hundred years.

"America, for the love of God! I almost threw myself off the balcony!" Marlee opened the door suddenly and came running to me. "Now I'll have to watch you like a little child all day long, you can bet that! I'll make you fat if I have to but you will not starve again, you heard me?" I giggled a bit.

"It's not like the first time that I've starved in my life" I reminded her, she looked down feeling embarrassed.

"Well, it's the first and the last time you'll do it while everyone tries to take care of you, I don't care if you need some privacy or whatever! I won't leave you alone ever again, highness" she hugged me tenderly and I nodded.

"Thank you and I'm sorry I worried you all so much, it's not as bad as it seems…" they both looked at me and then looked at each other.

"You really think so?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'll be better is not so serious…" I assured them.

"Look at your wrist, the doctor had to give you serum… you almost died, my love" ok, I was actually worse than I thought, what the hell was I doing?

"Right… I'm so sorry" I needed to clear my mind desperately, God know what I could've done if I didn't stop thinking about what was going on.

"You want me to kick Miss Sunshine out? You just say it and I will!" Marlee offered; there were obvious reasons why she was my best friend.

"No, we need her… And I'll be okay soon" I tried to calm them, or I tried to calm me.

"Oh, we'll make sure you'll be okay. I'll have to tie you on the bed so you won't run out!" Marlee surely was the most worried in the entire situation.

"Hey, that's my work!" said Maxon with a wink.

"Too much information, highness…" said Marlee uncomfortable, we both laughed.

"I meant as a good husband, Miss Woodwork! Please watch your words" this time the three of us laughed.

"I swear to God I'll be better! I just need a new hobby or whatever…"

"Yeah, right. Any distraction will be better than: Let's see how many days can I spend alive without eating a thing!" I did not know why I was behaving so outrageously.

"I'm sure you'll be very busy, so don't worry… Just thank that Silvia had mercy on you" I froze with that, Silvia must've been burning with anger.

"You know what? I don't feel better actually; tell her I'll have to spend a week locked in here!"

"No way, miss. We only have one week and a few days left if you've noticed…." He was right; we had not much time left.

"I guess that the nightmare is only starting…" I whispered.

And of course, Silvia had to scold me even just an hour after I got out of the nursery, was that what Maxon called "mercy"?, I wasn't completely recovered but I had much to do, like I wanted to do something. Sometimes pain is so great that it makes you want to die at the second, but what kind of pitiful and selfish girl would do that?

"We understand that you're going through hard times, princess. But this is stepping out of the line! Your country is on your hands and you're trying to kill yourself? What would we do if something like that happened? And don't make me get started with Prince Maxon! I can't believe you're so irresponsible! When are you going to become fledged woman?" I had heard her so much times that now her words didn't hurt anymore.

"I said I'm sorry like a thousand times! You think I wanted this? Of course not! I was sad; I forgot I was a human being! That's it, it's over… and in fact you should thank me because if I actually would've wanted to kill myself, I wouldn't be here talking to you…" I finished talking with a sarcastic smile. Marlee was shivering.

"Sometimes I just don't know what to do with you…" she sighed and tried to calm down. I couldn't blame her for saying that; no one knew what to do with me anyways.

"Don't do anything then!" I advised her, she gave me a death glare. I shook my head "You wouldn't say anything if your husband was having a baby with another woman…"

"Fine, that's it! You'll get sick again! Silvia, she already knows she did wrong so stop reminded it to her! America, she only wants the best for you, we all do! So let's stop feeling bad for ourselves and focus on what's really important here! Okay?" Marlee left us speechless "Okay, then" she smiled and took out her agenda.

"What happened to her?" Silvia asked me with a low voice.

"I guess she's also tired of me…" I answered, now she just seemed the always so angel like Marlee, but a second before she was a mad devil, the whole palace was a little crazy those days.

"Ok, so… the first thing, you haven't told the people about that we are already done with the eighth cast, when are you planning to say it out loud?" I completely forgot about everything with Kriss and the whole baby thing.

"I was supposed to tell everybody when we ended it but… it obviously wasn't like that, so… I think I'll just say it at the next report and that's it" that was my answer, I had no brain left.

"Just like that? No preparation, no warning? You shouldn't take this so easily, highness. Have you thought about the consequences?" yup, she was especially annoying that day.

"Of course I have, Silvia! We've been doing this for three years! They deserve to know as quick as possible, that if they haven't found out yet…" it was far too easy to see that the rules of Illéa were changing; I didn't know why she was so worried about everything the whole time.

"It's a big change, highness…" she reminded me.

"The hell it is! But is something that has to be done one way or another, and we're already making progress, it's too late to stop it right now, because I know that's what you've thought about this complete matter, I'm not backing up, and if you remember…. It was Maxon himself who decided to start with this" it was good to shut her mouth sometimes.

"I… haven't said anything, highness" that was it; she would have to understand me the good or the bad way.

"Good, keep that up" Marlee giggled a bit at my comment, I winked at her.

"She has just shown who has the crown on in here!" she said with a smile, this time we both laughed.

"Well, one thing I know for sure is that the princess recovers soon from all her problems…" said Silvia looking at me suspiciously.

"You know how much I wish that was true…" I was just good at hiding things from people, I couldn't be totally fine yet. And I prayed to know if I would be fine any time soon.

In the afternoon I had not much to do, Marlee ran to fix some of her "marriage problems" that I didn't know about, was she fighting with Carter lately?, Maxon was tied up with work as always, Silvia was still a bit hurt for my previous talking and I had no idea of where the hell could Aspen be, you should be thinking… what about Kriss? Nice joke, I didn't want to see her face not even in a painting! So I just went to my room to find my kitten sleeping above the mirror of my comber, I can swear that almost gave me a heart attack.

"What are you doing there, Celeste? Get down in this moment!" she was so little and fragile, how the hell did she get there? I was afraid she would fall but I wasn't tall enough to get her down, she yawned tiredly and meowed. "I don't care if you're tired, miss! Be a normal cat and sleep in your own bed!" was I talking to my pet? Yes, I was officially sick somehow. But then I understood why had she fallen asleep up there, she couldn't go down.

"Tell me this isn't happening!" I had to stood on the chair and almost break my arm to catch her, but she was too afraid, but then she finally fell right on my hand, or maybe held on to my hand with her kitten claws, she was hurting me but if I left her she would fall again. I sat on the chair and left her in my lap while stroking her head, how she could be so peaceful while I dying inside? Ah, of course! She was a cat! She did not care about that.

She had nothing to deal with that terrible matter that was going on; she had no reason to worry about a thing, and… neither had I, I was no longer inside the problem, Kriss would take care of that so why did I have to be so concerned about it? I know it's kind of a dumb metaphor, but that was the only thing I thought about. Maxon asked me to stay out of it, it wasn't because he was being unfair, and it was because he didn't want me to get hurt, I should've known from the start. He knew how heartbreaking it would've been for me, so he had to be harsh and tell me to stop thinking about it, at least he tried to, because there was no way for me to forget it and move on, it was far too awful and though everyone tried to ease the pain, it was just impossible.

I just had such a bad luck, it was something that was a punishment for all my nonsense for sure, but even that would achieve to change me, and I was convinced of that. Did I have to go through hell and back to give up only for that little thing? Of course not! I had one less problem to take care of, it wouldn't be me who would be pressured to have a kid, it wouldn't be me the one whose body would change in a terrible way, it wouldn't be me who would have to eat for to and it wouldn't be me who would have to break herself into two when the baby was born! I actually was the winner in some way, Kriss's self would be shattered while I stayed the same as always.

But it would be her who would have Maxon's complete attention, it would be her who would have a special connection with him, it would be her who would be called "mother" by my husband's kid. Thinking about it more carefully, there was absolutely no way I could win in that whole situation! What if… their feeling were reborn? What if Maxon decided he loved me no longer? What if he discovered that his least good option had become his wife? What would happen to me? Would I be able to live after all that? My thoughts were making me dizzy and I felt a sharp pain inside me, I looked down but Celeste was already asleep again, I had to calm down, I wasn't supposed to think about a thing, maybe my body was only getting worse than recovering.

I felt uncomfortable and trapped inside my room, so I left the kitty on my bed and went to the door of Maxon's room, I realized that I had not had much time to be observant with what was on the walls, I had never realized he had so many pictures of me, like a paparazzi or something. There was one where I was laughing with Marlee while drinking tea, and the other one while hugging his mom, another one where I was looking at the garden from my balcony, and the first picture they took of us together when he had tickled me so I'd smile, or the one with all the other 34 girls. And another one talking to Nicoletta along with Kriss, but most of them were from our wedding and the coronation. What a cute way to keep his memories, maybe his camera was already full of my pictures. He also had something there in the video player, and as curiosity killed the cat, I thanked myself for leaving Celeste in the other room. When the image appeared I remembered everything; it was my first interview as a candidate of the Selection.

"_Please present yourself, miss."_ It was Silvia, she sounded much more excited and happy back on those days, I just looked annoyed and tired.

"_I'm America Singer, I'm a five, I'm 17 years old and I represent Carolina in the selection, for my good luck…"_ I remember I tried to make that sound believable, but I was just so angry and heartbroken by Aspen that I could hardly think about something else.

"_What do you think about Prince Maxon, Lady America?"_

"_Really? He's such a…" _I had something like "jerk" in mind, but then I thought about that everyone loved the prince_"… great person, with a big and giant …_" again I thought about saying "ego", but thought about it better _"… heart. He will be a great king for sure_" such a liar.

"_What about your partners, the ladies of the selection? Have you met anyone yet?"_

"_Well, they seem cute, funny, very smart… oh! And they have nice hair! What else do you need to be a princess?" _falling in love with the Prince, that was actually all you needed to be the princess. I wondered if I had nice hair. Such a difficult question…

"_Nice thoughts. And now what would make you a good princess?"_ I snorted a bit of confused and angry.

"_We just talked about the other 34 girls in here! Any of them would be a better princess than me! And I guess that their "cheerful" attitude will make them win in one way or another, but… If you really want to know that much about me, let's just say that if I hypothetically would win, you should be ready for some big changes"_ and smiled; I reminded that Silvia looked at the camera man worried, no doubt of why.

"_Ok… that should be fine, Thank you, Lady America…" _my expression turned into a bit worried and nervous.

"_Wait! Who was going to see this?"_ I bit my lip.

"_We're going to show it at the Report, miss"_ Silvia answered calmly, I was completely scared.

"_What?! Okay … well then, sorry mom!"_ I blushed; guess some things never end, _'You're a disaster, America Singer. But you're good at scaring people with unnecessary honesty.'_ I thought and turned the TV off. I looked again to the pictures of my wedding and saw some letters at the end of one, it showed Maxon and me giving our first kiss as husband and wife, I approached to take a look, it said_: My darling America, I'll love you forever. _ I couldn't believe that answers showed up so fast! Just a second ago I was about to go crazy thinking about what could happen between Maxon and Kriss, and know I was smiling stupidly at a wall.

"Honey, something wrong?" I turned to see him at the front door.

"Oh, no. Absolutely not…" I assured him. He smiled suspiciously.

"Since when do you enter the Prince's Chambers without permission, highness?" he asked, I giggled.

"Since we got married, actually…" I hugged him tight. "You know? It is still the best moment of my life…" he softly kissed my neck,

"Really? You have only one? Of course that's one of my favorites, but I have thousands of them!" he said with a smile.

"Which ones are your favorites?" I asked; he stroked my cheek tenderly.

"Well, that time we kissed on the roof, or maybe the first night we met, what about when we made that ridiculous bet I was so happy for loosing?..." I laughed at those embarrassing but still cute memories "but the one I love the most… is when you finally said you loved me".

"I still do, and I'm perfectly sure that it will never change… "I blinked fast to stop the tears from coming out. Hell, I was so sentimental! "And that's why I've been so intolerable these days… I'm disappointed at me, that's all" but I couldn't stop the tears any longer, I turned so Maxon wouldn't see my sad expression to face the wall again, it was better to see the good times in front of me than thinking about the awful time I was living at the moment.

"How many times will I have to say that's not your fault so you believe it?" he held my shoulders.

"I'm not blaming myself… I'm just sad because… I've always wanted to give you everything I have… and now it has to be someone else, what's the point of having a wife if she can't make you joyful and happy all the time?" it was such nonsense, didn't you get married so you could be happy with the one that completes you?

"America Schreave Singer, what on earth are you saying? Of course you make me happy, dear! If I wouldn't have you I would be lost!" he hugged me by the waist and I stroked his hands, I sighed.

"I just think you would be better if you had someone who could actually give you children…" he turned his face to see me eye to eye.

"How longer are you going to keep this up?"

"Until I don't feel useless anymore" that was my answer.

"You surely are a hard nut to crack… what makes you think you're useless?" he smiled as sweet as always.

"You even have to ask?" I looked down.

"Darling, you did what no one dared to, you've changed the monarchy, the people and the whole country upside down, you made Illéa become a nation of fighters, you've made me even braver and you made the most terrible and bratty Princess of the entire world get jealous of someone that wasn't born under royal blood! You're such a character, America!" well, he was right at that last part, It actually had been fun to see Princess Daphne that mad.

"That only means I'm a troublemaker" we both chuckled a bit.

"I don't want you to say something like that ever again, ok? You're perfect just the way you are, and I wouldn't change a thing of you… because, let's face it! You wouldn't be my sweet and crazy wife if you were not just like you are now, I could not love you as much as I do if even a small part of you was different than it really is.

"If you say so…" I kissed his cheek and he tightened the hug.

"Wow, how did you do that?" he said laughing.

"Do what?" I smiled.

"That thing with your…" he pointed at my waist where his other hand was resting, I looked at him confused. "Never mind, too much working may burn the neurons too…"

"Or maybe too much stress!" I turned to place my arms on his shoulders again.

"Or maybe both of them, but everything turns heavenly like when I'm next to you" how could I help of kissing him insanely happy with those words? The man had his ways to melt my heart!

"If you continue with that kind of flirting I won't let you out of this room ever again!" I said in between kiss and kiss.

"And you don't know how much I would like that but… we have company to take care of, dear… the dinner must be ready by now…" he reminded me, I scowled.

"If you don't remember, Kriss is not a baby she'll just have a baby, she can eat on her own!"

"Of course she can, but that would be rude from us" why did he have to be such a gentleman?

"Freaking royal manners… Fine, but don't you dare to go there without me!" I held his hand and he kissed it.

"Never, my love" he closed the door behind us as we went out.

Just as he had said, Marlee, Carter and Kriss were waiting for us at the table. Marlee was a bit angry, she looked at Kriss with a death glare and cut her food so strongly that seemed to break the plate. Carter was scared and Kriss was nervous of course.

"Sorry, we're late…" said Maxon, we decided to seat in different places so Kriss wouldn't be so uncomfortable.

"No problem, highness..." said Kriss with a bright smile. Marlee snorted annoyed.

"This idiot is such a bootlicker!" she said with her lips.

"Be kind" I answered.

"Look who's talking" ok, maybe I wasn't the only one who was a bit moody.

"So, is it weird to be back to the palace?" Maxon said as friendly as always. My love, he never knew when he had to talk or not and with who or not.

"Not at all, Maxon! It's actually familiar and exciting, I have no trouble at being back… and of course I won't have trouble to stay a bit more if you require it, because of the baby, you know…" that just make me froze, we definitely had to talk about that. I tugged my ear hoping that he wouldn't have forgotten our secret signal that we hadn't used in so long, he just nodded.

"That's… very nice from you".

"And if you need some more time to prepare for the conception I would be totally glad to give it to you!" she said that sounding incredibly honest, I could swear that everyone was shocked. I tugged my ear again, we also had to talk about that, he nodded again.

"We actually were thinking about hurrying this matter a bit, we have not much time left, Kriss…" he reminded her.

"Oh, right! It was just in case… as you're so busy and America is a little sick, you should take it easy…" she even sounded cute when she was saying nonsense! Why did life have to be so cruel?

"This can't be easy in any way, Kriss dear" said Marlee sounding not kind at all.

"I have that on mind, Marlee. But I intend to stay here as long as they need me to, and… God, they need me desperately!" and I tugged my ear again, harder this time, what the hell was all that?

"Ok, I get it, America! God, you're making me nervous!" Maxon kind of exploded.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kriss asked a bit concerned.

"Did you say something right?" where was my always so friendly and nice Marlee? She was strange that day, and not strange in the good way.

"Well, well… they say that time changes people but this is just shocking, Marlee… what have I done to you?" it was about to get ugly, and not just because of that little discussion, when the servant brought my food something inside me made me feel dizzy, perfect! I was still sick. I wasn't really hungry, but if I didn't eat something I would have ended in the nursery again.

"To me specifically? Nothing much! To my best friends and my country? Everything!" she let down her fork on the table and it made a strong sound.

"Marlee, for the love of God… "Said her husband ashamed.

"No, don't try to stop me right now, Carter! You're such a whimsical and smug little traitor! Have you any pride left? How could you accept this?" she stood from her chair, I couldn't even breathe.

"Calm down, ok? It wasn't my idea, the parliament asked me to help and that's what I'm doing" Kriss on her side was completely calmed as always.

"Well, I think it actually was your idea! You think that nobody knows that you were crazy obsessed with Maxon? God, Kriss! How blind can you pretend you are?"

"I'm not saying any of that…"

"It doesn't matter what you say, little bitch! It is actions that count… you know what? I'm out of here! This much stupidity and cruelty is making me sick!" Carter tried to stop Marlee from leaving the dining room but it was too late, an ugly silence spread around the room.

"I'll go with her…" I wanted desperately to know what happened to her so I stood up and also left. But it wasn't such a good idea. It was raining terribly and it looked like all the officers of the palace were outside waiting for something.

"Officer Deaton! What's going on?" I called him, and then I heard that someone was following me.

"We were just about to leave, your highness" he answered.

"Leave? Where are you going?" Maxon stood behind me.

"America, why did you leave like that?" I raised my hand so he would stop talking and I could talk to the officer.

"To New Asia, princess. His highness told us to leave as soon as possible to make sure that the emperor's army won't attack…"

"Everyone is going there?" I asked a bit worried.

"If you're thinking about Officer Leger, yes, we're all going there" that was enough for me to understand everything.

"You're sending them to New Asia on their own?" I yelled at my husband.

"It's the only way to prevent an attack!" he defended himself.

"Aspen is getting married and you're making him go to a place where death is not a possibility but something that surely will happen? What's wrong with you?"

"I'm trying to protect you!"

"And what about your people? They may be soldiers but they count on us too! You know that the emperor is totally crazy; he won't hesitate to kill them all if he wants to! How could you be this selfish?" I walked to my room with tears in my eyes. It hurts a lot to be disappointed about yourself, but it hurts even more to be disappointed at the one you most love.

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._

PD: Just have a little hope, my readers! Things get better when you less expect it ;)


	9. Giving in

And that's how I spent another day locked in my room, this time drowning with anger and confussion more than sadness, as Marlee promised she was beside me all the time, neither me or her wanted to go out and see Kriss or our husbands. The situation was awful, just when I thought everything would be okay something had to go wrong and ruin it again, but this time It hurt the moxt, what was happening to Maxon lately? He wasn't himself, he was completely blind and I couldn't finish understading why. I knew perfectly what was going on with us, but I just didn't want to accept it.

"This is a complete disaster…" said Marlee looking out the window, she sounded mad but still a little depressed, like I didn't know how she must've been feeling.

"It's seems so ridiculous but still it's terrible, why do things like this happen to us? Have I done something wrong?" she turned to look at me.

"Of course not, don't say that! I'm sure you don't deserve this… I mean… no one does, but Kriss is just so insolent for showing up like that, she wants to help? Yeah sure, that woman's crazy!" her complaints sounded funny at that time.

"Or maybe we're the crazy ones for hating her so bad when she hasn't done anything to us…" Celeste jumped to the bed and rested her head on my hand.

"Well, I don't really have reasons to hate her but she makes me feel uncomfortable. But you? She almost married Maxon, and I can't imagine how that would've left you… knowing how you are I would dare to think that you would've killed yourself or something like that..." she approached to me and took my other hand in hers.

"Not really, I would've killed her first and kidnapped Maxon then to make him marry me one way or another" we both laughed.

"That's not a bad idea actually. Any life would be easier than this is…" I sighed at her words.

"Not really, at least in here I don't have to choose between eating or having electricity… but no one denies that emotional pain is much worse than physical pain is… still they both hurt and leave a mark" she hit me softly with her elbow.

"Do you have any visible scar?" I smiled at her.

"Not that I remember right now but I'm sure I do…" we released a chuckle again.

"What has happened to us, America? When did we stop being foolish and crazy in love kids? When was the laughter replaced with tears?" I was shocked with that; she had all the right to be worried about that.

"When you started saying things like that…" I couldn't help of laughing again, I saw her smiling a bit but then her expression changed to concern again.

"I mean it… once this place seemed like a dream to me and now all that I see is suffering… I see you feeling so bad and I see Maxon always so troublesome… even Carter doesn't seem like himself lately… it looks like he's never on my side anymore …" That didn't sound good at all, was all that really happening to us? When did our dreams turn into nightmares?

"I perfectly understand that; just imagine how life is when your husband is the ruler of the entire country… I have to share him with everybody and now I don't know if he wants to see me" I bit my lip; where did all that come from?

"I can't believe that something so small and unimportant can cause so much damage… but what I can't really believe is that it happened to you, it doesn't make much sense to me…"

"You don't have to understand thing so they happen, Marlee, things happen because they have to and that's it… you can't choose what they'll be like, at least not in this particular situation" she held my hand a little stronger.

"What are you going to do now?" that was a very good question actually.

"I don't have a single freaking idea… but I'm not sure I want to go out and continue living, if it still can be called like that… You know what? This place never felt so horrible with Maxon by my side but now… everywhere I go I feel this weight on my shoulders and I can hardly control my mood and everything is so… award and heartbreaking… I need a vacation…" I covered my face with my free hand but Marlee seemed to smile at that final sentence.

"That sounds good, Mer" I looked at her part shocked and part annoyed.

"Are you out of your mind? There's no vacation from being the crown princess!" I reminded her.

"But remember that Maxon said that you could visit your mother whenever you wanted to? And May must miss you like crazy! It wouldn't be bad for anyone for you to… relax and clear your mind a little" actually, it didn't sound so wrong. And considering that everyone was going mad about my behavior it would be also good for them to take a break from my drama.

"You think he'll accept that?" I asked her, she scowled.

"I think that's the least he can do after sending your best friend to a certain death…" she smiled sarcastically.

"I guess that's a good option… I should talk to him about it…" but I wouldn't do it on that specific moment, I didn't feel completely recovered.

_But the next morning, while I was headed to his office I found someone I didn't really want to see. _

"America, you think we could talk for a bit?" Kriss said with her angelic and cute voice, everything about her was so annoying at my eyes.

"Sure" I agreed, but in the inside I was burning with desires of hit her against the wall. We went to the library; no one would dare to enter there.

"Ok, look… I know that things have been a little difficult between us, and I really want to know why… when I left the palace we seemed to be friends and now I just don't know" why did she sound so worried about it? Why did she even care?

"I think I already explained it to you… it's not because of you, Kriss, it's because this whole matter is tearing me to pieces" my voice broke at the last word though I didn't want it to.

"I don't mean to hurt you, it's all the contraire actually" I turned so she wouldn't see my tearful expression.

"I know that you have the best intentions… but this is not as easy as you think, please try to see it from my eyes… what would you think if the love of your life was having a kid with…" I stopped myself from saying something I didn't want to say.

"With who? What exactly do you think about this?" now she sounded serious and willing to do everything for hearing a complete and honest answer.

"With someone he once kept so close to his heart, you always had such a special connection with him that I'll never get to have … I feel replaced, Kriss…" the tears that I fought so hard to stop them finally fell through my cheeks.

"You think that me and him…? No way, America! That's not why…" but I was tired of hearing more excuses.

"I know, ok? I know that you're not that kind of person and that you wouldn't hurt even a fly, but you know what? It isn't necessary to want to hurt somebody to do it, sometimes it just happens" I wiped my tears, why would I cry about something so stupid?

"Believe me, I'm exactly the same way as you are… I'm between the sword and the wall and I had to take rushed decisions. If I could do something to make this easier I would've already done it…" she seemed to be regretful about something but there was no reason for her to feel like that.

"That's the thing, Kriss! This isn't easy at all! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me… this whole thing has managed to make me feel so miserable, I feel destroyed… I have nothing left… I'm not even sure about having my husband's love anymore…" I didn't want anyone to know that, but I already had let so many things out that it seemed nonsense to hide anything anymore.

"Please, are you saying that for real?"

"Yes, I am" now she thought I was kidding? What kind of cruel joke was that?

"America, you don't know how lucky you are… at first I didn't really want Maxon as much as you did, but with time I realized that I would never meet anyone like him ever again… but I also knew that it was useless, I was actually surprised that he took so much time to choose you officially when he had already done it… I knew from just the way he looked at you, the fact that he always wanted to be around you and that he only had eyes for you being surrounded by other 34 girls, maybe I had his parent's and all Illéa's approval, but from the beginning you were the only one who had his heart, you've always had him completely, and I can't believe you're doubting about him right now…" oh, she didn't know a thing! I doubted about everyone at that point!

"I'm sorry but that doesn't really concern you… it's over for me right now, Kriss. Now it's my turn to say this" I turned to see her sad expression but I didn't pity her, I had no reasons to do it "Congratulations, you win… I'm out" it was somehow ironic but it was true, she was going to have my husband's beautiful baby while I stood there doing nothing and watching Maxon become a father. I realized there was nothing more left to say so I just walked to the door and left. _'It's over…'_ those words were constantly going around my head, I couldn't think of anything else.

But just when I got to his door, at one second of asking him to give me some time for myself I wondered if I was doing right at leaving him…

"Are you alright?" he appeared before I could think about knocking. I couldn't look into his eyes.

"Technically, well… I'm as good as I can be…" my voice sounded shakily.

"I'll take that as a no, then" he wasn't doing very well either, and it was just stupid to think about why when everything was so obvious at that moment.

"Anyways… I just needed to tell you something…" I sighed but I could swear he stopped breathing for a second.

"As long as it doesn't include Kriss, you're free to say anything you want to…" all around us felt so cold, so unnatural, it wasn't like it had been before and I was afraid that it would never be again.

"Fine… Maxon, you've always been so kind and lovable with me and I need you to continue being like that right now because…" I took a deep breath so the tears wouldn't fall again "because I'm about to lose my head and my useless attempts to forget about this have shown no results and I don't know for how longer I can keep up ignoring the pain, I feel like I'm dying on the inside… and I need your comprehension now more than ever…. But please don't feel like I'm leaving you because I never will… in fact I'm doing it because I want to fix this mess…" but while saying that I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I couldn't stop me from crying.

"What are you talking about?" he seems to be a bit annoyed and that managed to make me feel even worse.

"I'm going to make this easier for all of us…" I forced myself to look up to him; I could see that he was as miserable as I was "I'm staying at my mother's for a while, until all has finished… maybe even a little longer. Heaven knows I won't handle it, Maxon, I won't live with the idea of being here while she… is doing what she's supposed to… let's face it, I won't be more than a problem for you all… and you don't really need me here, and I don't want to be here either… I don't want to frustrate you anymore… the last thing I wanted was to become a burden for you and this whole matter is tearing us apart and I don't want that, so you were actually right at asking me to stay out of this… and that's exactly what I'm going to do" I looked down again so I wouldn't see his hurt expression, I couldn't see his eyes while knowing that I was damaging him.

"When will you come back?" he began to shake.

"I can't say… it's going to take much time for me to accept this completely…. I need my family right now" but how could he know that he was also an important part from me? But he wasn't only mine, and that's something I would never change.

"I… understand that… who am I to deny you that?" I nodded in agreement, though I desperately wanted him to say something so I wouldn't leave.

"Thank you… I'll try to keep in touch, okay?" try? I wouldn't just try; I would die to know what he was doing at every minute of the infinite days I would spend alone.

"Alright, tell your mother I said hi, will you?" he tried to make me think he didn't really care about what we were saying.

"Of course I will, but May… will be hurt if you only say hi to her" I reminded him, I'm sure we both showed a sad smile. He got closer to me and said something to my ear.

"Tell her to come more often here… but not alone of course, I will be waiting to see her sister again" his lovely voice made me lose all the control I had left, I hugged him softly.

"You'll be a great father, I'm sure…" I had to use my last strength so that would come out of my mouth and it felt like my life would end there. Then I got apart from him with my eyes to the floor, if I kissed him I wouldn't be able to leave, so I just turned around willing to say no more goodbyes and let things be what they had to be. But he took my hand and I knew that he was begging me to reconsider it, who were we kidding? This was destroying us both. He sighed wistfully.

"You can keep the bird locked but not its spirit…" he whispered sounding harmed, he let go of me. _'If you don't move now it'll only be worse' _that thought made me woke so I had to run to my room to stop me from crying my eyes out in front of him, he couldn't know that I didn't really want to leave.

_All the people of the palace had been announced of my departure that night._ So when the morning came and Mary had to help me packaging my stuff she didn't say a thing, no one actually said nothing to me, the palace was quieter than it had ever been. But I couldn't leave without saying a word; God knows how much time I would be away.

"Please, look after my baby, okay? I don't know what I would do without her" I stroked Celeste's head and then I took a quick glance to her necklace and remembered what Maxon had engraved in it _'Celeste. In sweet memory of the princess's best friend', _so annoying and yet sweet from him, that thought made me smile.

"Of course I will highness. She'll be the only reason why I'll come here every day now" she wanted to cry badly, I heard her broken voice clearly.

"Oh, Mary…" I walked up to her and gave her a hug "It's not like I'm leaving forever… I just need some space for myself, I'll be fine…" she was very good at keeping her suffering for herself, maybe I should've learn from it.

"I know, my lady. It's just that this is so unfair for you… life has treated you badly" I shook my head with those words and patted her shoulder.

"Hey, I was the one who won the prince's heart, life had been nothing but beautiful for me… but everything has it consequences and this is what I chose, but I'm not giving up on my life, Mary… I'm just taking a breath…" she nodded.

"You'll be dearly missed, princess" she said no more and walked out of the room with one of my bags; I took my kitten and lifted her to give her a small kiss right between her eyes.

"Be nice, Celeste. I'll miss you, baby girl…" she meowed sounding confused; maybe she would've followed me if I hadn't closed the door behind me. I pictured her scratching Maxon's door at night so she wouldn't feel lonely, she used to do that when I was asleep and she wanted t play.

I didn't count on having so much people at the outsides of the palace, all of them watching me preoccupied, but Kriss w protruded from all of them.

"There's no need to do this, America, really…" she took my hands like begging me, funny, that was what I wanted Maxon to do, but he wasn't there… neither I would've told him to be.

"But I want to do it, don't blame yourself, Kriss… what I'm doing now has nothing to deal with you…" she looked down being terribly nervous, Marlee had a death glare on her face while looking at the mother of the future prince of her country. But when I faced her, she just smiled and gave me a tender hug.

"When you walk through those gates again I want to see you better, I don't want to look that hurtful expression reflected in your beautiful face again, ok? We'll be waiting for you…" she said as gentle but firm as always, then I looked up to Carter, they didn't seem to be doing well with each other though they had talked a bit.

"If we hear something about Aspen we'll let you know…" he assured me.

"Thank you very much" I tried to smile at him but it was useless.

"Good luck, I hope you feel better…" that was the most honest wish for me I had heard in weeks. I waved at the three of them, the rest were just men from the parliament and I had absolutely nothing to tell them.

I can't say that the trip was awfully long, my family's house was pretty near from the palace but everything went by so slowly that day that it looked like I had been on the car for hours. I wished I could've felt happy for a moment when my siblings ran to meet me, Gerad had grown so much and May didn't look precisely as a child anymore, she became taller and prettier. My mother on her side knew perfectly that something was wrong.

"Welcome, my dear" she kissed my cheek and whispered something then "I guess we have to talk, but now… focus on them, they've missed you" probably May heard that but she didn't care so much.

"So, crown princess. Where the heck is my brother in law?!" we all laughed at her comment.

"His highness had some royal business to attend but he told me to tell you that you should visit more often, he loves your squeaky voice and your scandals" she scowled at me but then smiled. Gerad pulled my hand.

"What on earth am I supposed to do to shut her up? she's driving me crazy!" my little brother was bored of hearing May's teen troubles, who could blame him? May was a very special girl.

"I'm afraid that there's no way to make May keep silent, you should know that" he took me to their giant house, I had visited them before of course, I love the way Mom made the house look more like a home, everything was so fancy but still our family pictures where everywhere, it was relieving because that kept them feeling not so lonely. But what I loved the most of that place was the little altar they had built for my father, I really felt I could talk to him being there, everything reminded me about him so much.

"She'll say exactly the same thing about you when you turn 14, you'll see" my mother said, Gerad kind of petrified with those words.

"Don't worry, you'll be much easier to handle than she is" we both laughed. God, I had no idea of how much I needed to see my little sister and brother. We went to the living room where some of the maids were cleaning stuff, one of them approached to my mother.

"The tea is served, ma'am" she said and mother made us sit in front of the coffee table.

"So, Mrs. America "lucky" Schreave. How have you been? How's Maxon? What have you done these days? And why do you look like you haven't slept in a month?" I couldn't lie at May's sweet eyes; I looked at my mother so she would help me.

"Oh, you already started with the interrogatory May Singer? Let her breathe a bit… she just got here" she scolded her.

"But mom! She's the crown princess! The royal monarch of all Illéa! Wife of the most charming prince that has ever existed! Her life is a fairytale and you don't want me to ask a thing? That's just nonsense! I'm sure America has many things to tell…" and hell she was right!

"You have no idea, May… but what I can tell you for sure is that… nobody's life is a fairytale".

After a lot of chatter and laughter and like a hundred cups of tea, I decided to go and talk a bit with my father, though I know he wouldn't answer to me, feeling his presence was relieving somehow, my father had been one of those few people that had the power to calm everything and everyone when it seemed to be the end of it all. I lit a candle so I wouldn't be talking to no one in the darkness.

"Hey dad, how's the other side? Ok, that was silly I know. It's been a while since like I felt I had to talk to you, well… I always need you, dad, I miss you badly… I've never felt so lonely before, when I was with you all I felt like nothing was too bad for me to surrender but this… crushed me… I don't know at what point I am right now, but I'm definitely out of the game… I mean there's nothing left I can do… I've tried to stop them from doing this but I guess this has to be done one way or another, tell me… you think I'm selfish for wanting to stop it? Am I being cruel or unfair? I just want Maxon to be happy… I just wanted to have a family together; you know how much I dreamed of giving him a child? You know how much I wished to see his expression when he was holding our first baby? Maybe I thought too much instead of actually doing something, but I still wonder how this could happen to me… the only thing that everyone expected me to do and I can't… I don't know what to do… How will I handle watching that baby grow up and Maxon giving him or her all his time and attention… what's going to happen with me? What am I going to do with Kriss? This is terrible! I have absolutely no idea of how am I going to live after this… I need a sing, dad… I need to know what the hell I can do! Because… if I let this get trough me I'll never be better… am I really as strong as everyone thinks I am? Because right now… strength is the least I have left… and hope? That word's not on my dictionary… but what I do hope is that you're not too disappointed at me, just understand that my options are done, so don't dare to say I gave in without trying… I love you, dad…" I can't really say at what precise moment I started crying, but at the thought of my father being sad because of me was unbearable.

I needed a reason to tell myself it wasn't over, that I could still do something to stop it from happening, but maybe it was a little late. The insemination would be the day after.

So I got up the next morning with swallowed eyes and a pain in my chest, and I wondered what would everyone be doing in my absence, Marlee would surely be angry as hell and Carter was frightened by her so they wouldn't talking much, Kriss… god, Kriss would've been more than joyful, I could see her bright smile showing her victory inside my head. And Maxon, my sweet, lovable and dear Maxon, maybe he was scared, maybe he was nervous or maybe he was excited but he must've been the person with the most emotions that day, I wished I could share his happiness, but that part of his life didn't include me. During breakfast I tried to smile to my little brother, he knew something was wrong, May on her side was too busy complaining about everything with mom and mom was getting nervous because of me.

"Why are you so upset, Mer?" asked Gerad showing concern with his beautiful eyes.

"Nothing, little boy… I'm a bit tired, I didn't sleep well last night" and I wasn't lying, I had so much in my head that other night, how could anyone try to sleep while having so much to worry about?

"And you haven't eaten anything either…" my mother scolded me, I looked down to my breakfast but no food would enter my mouth that morning.

"I'm not particularly hungry right now…" I confessed, she pretended to be displeased but in the inside I knew that she was wondering what on earth was happening to me, maybe she already had an idea how what was going on but there's no way she could know it all, our tiny problem had to remain secret so entire Illéa wouldn't go crazy.

"Mom! I was talking…" protested May; it was kind of heartwarming to hear her voice again.

"Don't you see that your sister's pale white? You're not my only daughter, May! And besides I live with you, now I have to take care of something else… get up, America… we need some privacy" that's how I knew I was in trouble. May had a shocked expression on her face and as I followed my mother to the living room I heard her scream: "What the hell was that?!" Luckily my mother didn't hear a word. She made me sit next to her.

"Alright, what's going on? And don't try to tell me that it is nothing because you know I won't believe you…" funny, she thought I would hide my problems from her when I already couldn't take no more.

"Mom, I … well, I'll start from the beginning…" she nodded assuring me she would listen to every word "Everyone in Illéa knows that we have big problems with New Asia, but the emperor… he asked us to do a task so our nation would finally become allies…" my voice broke for a second, she stroked my cheek.

"And what was that, honey?"

"A marriage, between his niece and… our first kid, but…" I felt that tears gathered in my eyes again, but I didn't want to cry anymore.

"What is it, America?" I started to shake; I didn't want to tell that to her, how would I manage to see her eyes after knowing her daughter's curse?

"I'm sterile, mama…" and that was it, no more calm and no more pretending, that was it.

"Oh God, how is this possible?" she sounded like crying too.

"But that's not really the worst part…" telling half of the story had no point, I had to reveal everything.

"Are you telling me that there's something worse than that?" she was breathing heavily.

"Kriss Ambers is the surrogate… that girl form the selection? She's having my husband's baby…" but then she didn't seem sad anymore, now she was just angry.

"What? Is that for real? How could someone accept something like that? It's ridiculous! How come did you agree to let her do it?"

"It wasn't my choice!" I tried to explain her, but once the grenade explodes… there's not much to do.

"I think it was! You're the crown princess, America! It's up to you to make the decisions based on what's best for your country! And you just let anyone enter the palace and do whatever she wants with your husband? What were you thinking?" she was blaming me for something I couldn't stop.

"It wasn't me who chose her to be the mother of Maxon's baby, the parliament did and they told me to stay out of it!"

"Who are they to tell you what to do? You're the ruler, you're the future queen! They must listen to you and to no one else…" I had been looking desperately for comfort, but now I didn't want to listen to her anymore.

"Well, it's already done, mama! The conception is today, if everything goes as planned the emperor will have what he wanted and Kriss will give birth to Maxon's first son and that's it! I can't do anything… I've already tried and there's no way to stop this" she sighed disappointed and took my chin so I would see her eye to eye.

"My children have never been quitters, America. You are a fighter for nature, not because anyone told you had to be strong… you are strong because life and the entire world made you be like that, you never needed someone's approval, you never listened to the ones you know wouldn't do anything right. You faced those who were unfair and claimed for justice and in all that process… you found the only person who'll ever be able to guide your life and have your heart completely… and while listening to you right now, I'm not seeing my daughter… I'm seeing a weak girl who will lose everything because of fear and I don't want to see that… America, hear me very well… when you decided to fight for the crown you knew that justice and love always come with a price, and you were willing to pay it to get them both, suffering is an essential part of the way if you want to win, it's something you can't evade, you'll never stop mistakes or tragedies from happening… but it's up to you to decide how you're going to react at facing them… so I want you to stand still and think about what you're doing… does this situation seem alright to you? You really think that there's no other way?" at first I didn't know what to say or do, but then I remembered what I had been thinking all those days, I wanted that Maxon could see farther from what they told him to do, but actually Maxon couldn't do anything about it, it wasn't up to him.. It was up to me. The emperor hated me not him, the emperor though that I was a disaster not him, and lastly… the emperor didn't want to harm the royal family, he wanted to harm those who were my family, and that meant… our people. With a war coming u, the first to be killed would be the people, not us; we would be protected and watching at every second, but what about the rest of Illéa? What if we had to escape and leave our country? Who would really pay the price for our insolence? Everything started to get clearer and clearer

"You're right, mom… having a baby won't solve the problem… it will just intensify it… if we share a bond like that with New Asia , Emperor Cho will have unlimited power over us, who says that we won't be threatened again? Who can assure us that a marriage will bring peace?" I stood up, I got the answer to my begging, and I finally knew what I had to do.

"Where are you going?"

"Sorry, mom. But I have to stop them from making another mistake…"

The driver took me to the palace as quick as he could, but I was about to go crazy at the idea that maybe it was late for me to show up, I just begged I was on time, I had to tell him everything, I had to take charge of the case and put aside the fear and pain, I had to do things right. I had to prove that I was not going to take it anymore, I was the crown princess, I was Maxon's wife, I was the ruler, and I was the one. When I got to the palace I was not only walking but running to the nursery, everyone would surely be there to watch the big happening. I didn't even knock; I just opened the door and screamed at everyone.

"Stop this" I yelled, the doctor and Maxon looked scared at me, Kriss just shook a little and the men from the parliament scowled.

"America, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Maxon approached me; I tried to explain things more calmly.

"Yes, actually. Everything's wrong, Maxon! We can't continue with this!" he looked confused and shocked.

"Princes, please…" began Mr. Leeroy.

"No, you all listen to me right now! I'm not going to take your useless scolding and listen to your stupid suggestions or whatever! Now it's your turn to shut up and look down!" with that all the room was in silence. "Listen, I know this is crazy, but it's just a trap, it's a hoax! You really think that the emperor wants peace? If he would actually want that, he wouldn't have asked us to give him our first kid! He would've just signed the alliance and that's it! The emperor doesn't want Illéa as an ally… think it well, Maxon! He hates me badly, why would he want my son to marry someone from his family? Why would he want to have an unbreakable bond with me? He says that I don't even deserve the crown! What would he really ask us to do this?" Kriss stood up looking worried.

"How did you know all that?" she asked.

"Know what?"

"Know everything, about the emperor and the false alliance… how did you know it?" I couldn't understand what she was talking about.

"Kriss, do you know something that we don't?" Maxon said, he didn't really sound mad but there was something wrong with his tone. Kriss seemed to be hiding something for sure. But just when she was about to answer, we began to hear sounds of windows breaking and also shootings, everything was confusing.

"They're here…" she turned to talk to Mr. McAffle.

"It's impossible! He said three weeks!" he screamed.

"He lied of course, it's too late… we have to get them out of here…" she got closer to us.

"What the hell is going on?" I shouted scared.

"Your highnesses, I'm afraid you're being attacked by the southern rebels… and New Asia".

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._


	10. The ugly truth

"What the…?" Maxon began, I couldn't finish understanding what Kriss had just said, but everything around me happened so fast that it made me feel dizzy, literally.

"There's no time for explanations, Maxon. McAffle, it's time! Take them to the shelter, they cannot get hurt!" I had never seen that part of Kriss, the one that was brave, stable and decided. She turned into a leader in a second. Everyone started to move crazily but Maxon and I were frozen next to each other, until we heard another gunshot.

"If we don't get out of here fast, we'll become dust. Quickly!" but she wasn't talking to us, she was talking to the other people in the room who appeared to know exactly what to do. They all had some kind of devices that showed a red dot in its screen, they started to move things and put other ones on the walls. I recognized those things as an object that Georgia showed once to me, they were trackers, they were giving information about our position before leaving the room, I don't know why or what was the use, but I was far too terrified to ask.

"What is this, Kriss? What's going on?" Maxon let out that voice tone he only used when he was really concerned about something, Kriss sighed to relax a bit and answered.

"I promise I'll tell you everything when it's prudent but right now we've got to get you out of here, especially because of you, America…" I was beyond shocked with that comment of hers, what was going on with me?

"There's nobody in the hall" said Mr. McAffle opening the door of the nursery for us.

"It's just a question of time, C'mon people, move!" said Kriss, suddenly the men from the parliament and even the doctor surrounded us as Kriss guided us to the shelter, we were walking fast and my head wouldn't stop spinning. Then something entered from the window of the hall and caught on fire making us step back.

"They know we're out" said the doctor leaving me speechless, like I could've said something in that moment.

"They definitely saw us, we are too many! We'll have to divide into groups" she said almost screaming, I finally woke.

"No! I'm not going without my husband" I took Maxon's hand and he squeezed mine tight letting me know he didn't want to be apart from me either.

"We're running out of time, America! You decide, you both die or you both live…" she told me on the verge of losing patience, I turned to see my love's beautiful eyes covered with fear.

"That's the problem, there's not just two of them!" replied Mr. McAffle, he had taken off his coat and I saw that on his shirt was wearing a medal with a shape that I recognized at that immediate second, a six-pointed star, he was a northern rebel.

"I perfectly know that, that's why I'll go with America along with the doctor, she must be taken care of" answered Kriss, she knew something about me that I didn't know of.

"Dear, whatever's going on, I think we must listen to them" said Maxon shakily while stroking my wet cheek, I was desperate, but he was right, I knew better than him that we had to trust the northern rebels.

"I know, but I don't want to leave you" I cried, he kissed me softly on my forehead; something like a mark of what I begged would be our last goodbye.

"It's ok, America. Don't be scared, I'm sure she'll protect you, ok? Stay strong, my precious darling. I love you so much" I hugged him when he said that last word.

"I love you too, please be safe" it never hurt so much for me to break a hug with him, but I had too, the atmosphere was getting denser and denser and I heard non-stop explosions and shootings.

"I will, only because of you" he said with a gentle smile. _'My God, if something happens to you... I won't be able to live anymore'_ that was my thought when I watched him walk away from me with those three devils that became angels from one blink.

"We have to rush, highness" said the doctor looking even more worried than I did. W e started walking again with Kriss at the front, I don't know how could she be so fast with such a bulky dress she was wearing, it reminded me of our days as selection partners, it looked like nothing had changed at all. Same prince, same palace, same opportunities, same troubles and same girls.

"Not so fast, I can't run!" I begged them, I don't know if it was the stress or something else but I was feeling sick.

"Believe me, you don't want to know what happens once they come for us…" she said, was she trying to calm me or what? If that was the case, she wasn't helping at all!

"Why are they coming for us?" but rather the question was: who is coming for us? The rebels or New Asia's army, it was all confusing.

"I'll give a concrete explanation to you once we get to the shelter" she assured me.

"What about Maxon? Will he be alright?" I asked loudly, there was so much noise outside that I hardly cared who could listen to me or not. I wondered how on earth we would be safe if most of our officers had gone to New Asia…. For nothing. They were all here outside the palace, waiting for us.

"He will, don't worry about him now. You're our priority, ok?" she said as she opened one of the secret entrances of one of the many shelters.

"How can I not worry about him? He's the man I love, Kriss!" I entered first and then they followed me closing the door.

"I know, but we have to protect you, it's you who the emperor wants and he'll do anything to have you" she got closer to me, but she spoke in a nicer and more clam voice tone, she was feeling safe, I felt just shattered.

"What the heck is this? Why is this happening?" it freaked me out not to know anything.

"You don't really have a clue? I think you must've known something the moment you came…" she reminded me, but all that I had was a theory of what was going on. At first I had been too excited about the idea of becoming a mother to see it but then I was feeling far too miserable to even look at it. There was something hidden behind all that happening, and Kriss knew it perfectly.

"Jesus, I'm not that smart, Kriss! I don't see the future of whatever, please answer to me before I…" then I felt a sharp pain on my stomach and I had the urgency of running to a bathroom, but that just would've been nonsense, I just stood alone in front of a corner of the room and let it all out. I fell to the floor when I finally could recover; the doctor and Kriss ran to me.

"Don't be scared, that's normal" she placed a hand on my forehead to confirm that I was ok.

"Normal? Juts spit it out, woman. I can't breathe anymore!" I yelled with all the strength I had left.

"It's not time yet, just take it easy. It'll all be fine" that was the last thing she said.

_We were locked in there for hours like always. _But when I asked Kriss when were we going out, she said that we would stay there until we got a message from August and Georgia, she didn't even ask me if I knew them, she simply knew it. With every minute that passed I couldn't stop thinking about everyone else, I might've been safe but what about them? The faces of Maxon, Marlee, Carter, Aspen, my Mother, May, Gerad, Mary and everyone else were running around my head and I felt agony. I had never been so terrified in my entire life, I had considered myself brave but that was when I thought I had nothing to lose, as I didn't own anything. Her words were also constantly bothering me, she said that I was the priority, she said that the emperor wanted me, she said that I must've known something, so that whole matter revolved around me, I hated so much mystery, I just wanted answers and that's it!

I somehow knew it was already night when the shootings stopped a bit and Kriss sat next to me.

"You ready for a heart attack?" she said, and when I turned my face to see her she was smiling sadly.

"Not in the mood for jokes" I answered looking at the ground.

"I wasn't joking, you'll probably feel worse when you hear everything, and I don't have the intention of hiding any detail from you "she assured me.

"Please…" I begged "tell me what's going on, ok? I can't stand it anymore" I didn't care of what she was going to say, I just needed to hear something.

"Ok, but don't think badly of me" This time it was me who smiled.

"You know what? You've done so many heartbreaking things to me and I haven't hated you for that. Nothing that you tell me now will be enough to change my mind" I chuckled a bit.

"Alright, here we go. I had been talking to August Illéa for a long time, practically since you married Maxon and I had to go back home, he told me that he had known your father since he was a little kid and that he was glad it was you who would become our Queen, I don't know why the heck didn't I picture that you were Shalom Singer's daughter, I'm sure you know right now that he was an exemplary man, not only as a father or husband but also as a friend… and as a rebel… Me and my people, we all owed so much to your father, America, and I realized that I should've been nicer and more understanding with you, but I never really got the chance as we were both fighting for a man we loved, in different ways I must admit. But then we heard that the southern rebels we're planning to attack in a much bigger way that any other they've done before, we knew they were going to need allies, they needed to built up a powerful army so they could make you disappear forever, but we didn't have a clue of who could it be, after that came the problems with New Asia and all that fuss about the Royal Encounter, that situation increased our suspicions about that the emperor also wanted to wipe you out, and also the fact that many people from New Asia were coming to our country, that's how we knew that Emperor Cho was planning to attack from the inside, we got a warning also; August said that we needed to make something up to protect you from giving your son to the enemy, as we knew that the emperor would ask you to send him to his country and keep him there as a hostage while his people destroyed our country so you couldn't do anything about it, it would've been a terrible mistake, so we had to take rushed decisions too, I knew it was my chance to thank your father for everything he did for us and also try to make up with you, because I really care about you. It was a great help to have Thomas McAffle working with Maxon, that way we had one of us in the palace, he was the one in charge to change your exams with the results of another woman form our town, as her case was something that no one has seen in years, so… yeah, that was the beginning of the plan. August said that we should use my connections with you to try to protect you without giving a clue of what I was doing, that's how McAffle told Maxon to hire a substitute and he knew that your husband wouldn't reject the idea of me being his child's mother as he thought that it would be better for both of you since you trusted me. That's how I got in the palace, and I did my best to take good care of you, I've been doing research and I've talked to my people every night to report everything, actually they're also outside right now, they've been surrounding the palace for weeks but we couldn't tell anything to anyone, especially not to you both, it would've been dangerous. So if you were wondering why did I delayed the insemination for so long, there's your answer, there was truly no reason to try to have a baby, it was only because I had to keep you safe. I know I was a bit harsh and that sometimes I lost focus on my task, but Georgia said: _The more she hates you, the best you'll protect her,_ but I think I crossed the line a bit. I know you deserved to know the truth from the beginning, America. I know you've gone through a lot and I know it was my fault, but danger is at every corner right now, I couldn't think of anything else. And I'm sorry that you have to feel so bad but… you know that solutions come when you least expect them to. You're a very lucky girl, actually…" She ended with a bright smile, I don't remember if I was breathing. Everything made so much sense right now, she was right! She had delayed the conception, I remember that August said something about: Protecting you from the inside, and it was so weird that I couldn't have children with my mother's strong genes, all that situation had been nonsense and I suffered because of that so much that now I felt stupid, I should've known that something was suspicious from the very start of it all. But this was just huge! This meant that a giant group from Illéa was fighting side to side with New Asia against us; this meant that the emperor had been fooling us all along because the baby was just an excuse! This meant that all the people I thought were the bad guys were only trying to help and save me. This meant that Maxon's first child could actually have been mine. This meant that Kriss… only wanted the best for me all along, and I was too blinded by my own sorrow to acknowledge it, guilt was spread through my body as blood itself.

"Oh, my God… I can't believe this" and I felt dizzy again, but it probably would've been just for the shock.

"Just try to process it, I know it's hard but you shouldn't be so pressured right now, it's not good for your health" great! I just got out of one confusing situation and now she's getting me into another one!

"Why the hell should I care about my health when there's so much things going on out there? I have to get out, I have to tell this to Maxon, I have to look for a solution" I tried to stand up from the floor but something made me fall again.

"No, no… that wouldn't be very smart from you, what part of delicate state don't you understand? Well, that's what they always say… I can't imagine how you must feel" what on earth was she talking about? I wasn't in any delicate state! I was just nervous and angry!

"What?" that was all I could say.

"Oh, please… there's no way you don't know about that either! I thought that was the reason why you left to your mother's house!" she seemed even more surprised than me at the moment.

"Oh god! Why do you have to be so dramatic? Just say whatever is going through your mind!" I was about to lose my head.

"C'mon, you should've guessed it by now! All these mood changing, and the fact that you're dizzy all the time, or that sometimes you don't want to eat…" she read my clueless expression very well and continued "or why do you cry so much? What about when you fainted, uh? You think it was just because those things happen?" damn, the woman went so much around the bush, but I wasn't thinking clearly either, there was so much things to care about to try to guess anything.

"Kriss, you're freaking me out! What's so important that's happening to me?" I took her by the arms so she would wake up and simply say it.

"For the love of God, America! You're pregnant, geez!" at least, those words that I had wanted to hear for so long were finally going through my ears, staying a bit in my brain so I could understand it totally and then went down to my warmed heart. I was frozen for a bit until I confirmed myself that it was true, this time… it was for real.

"You… are you sure?" I asked with shivering voice, she smiled gently to me.

"Why do you think that we had to change the exams, fool? Because if everyone knew that you were already going to have a baby there was no reason for me to come here" although that comment of hers should've made me get so angry, I just started laughing crazily in happiness.

"Oh, I can't believe this!" I swear to God that I must've been with a foolish smile, Kriss laughed together with me and she hugged me as the good friend that now I knew she was.

"Congratulations, Highness" she said while tears gathered in my eyes. All this time I thought that she wanted to take my life away from me when all that she was doing was stopping others from doing it, she protected me, even when I had somehow stolen a person who was dear to her.

"Thank you, for everything…" it was hard to get to comprehend everything, but I had an idea of what was going on and that was fine for me.

"It was a pleasure" she assured me.

"I just wish that Maxon would be here to hear all this…" it was so hard to pronounce my husband's name when I knew that he could be in danger, but I tried to trust in Mr. McAffle, after all… he had been teaming up with Kriss from the beginning. Those two crazy and a bit cruel rebels had done the impossible to make sure that we were ok. And that's how things change from a second to another, when you understand why they say that looks are deceiving.

"I'm sure he's perfectly good, but… I really had to come with you, you know because of the baby and everything…" I smiled one last time, outside it must've been the end of the palace but while I was inside the shelter hearing Kriss's confession I felt completely safe and somehow happy; I could at last say that I had my feet on the ground, my doubts were all gone, but still something was missing… or in this case someone.

"Right…. Oh, dear! I'm carrying Maxon's child!" I could finish believing it, I looked at my waist and I put my hand there, feeling what my husband had felt recently, at the end I was not alone in all this time I thought so. My son was there always with me, and I did not know when I was supposed to be the first to know. _'Well done, America. Now you cannot even tell what's going on inside your body! '_My thoughts reproached me, but I was too joyful to care about it.

After that it didn't took too much time for the war sounds to stop, Kriss led the doctor and I both out of the shelter, we walked slowly, and we both knew who we were looking for. I couldn't take my hands away from my belly, I wanted to keep the sensation I had, the feeling of my baby growing inside me, I wanted me to be the one who would keep him safe, not the doctor, not Kriss, not anyone else but me.

The palace was falling to pieces and I begged that the rebels and New Asia's army had only attacked it and not the entire country. I went to my room when I remembered that someone else was living there. It didn't look as bad as the halls did.

"Celeste?" I called my kitty scarily, if they had killed my baby girl they would pay dearly for it. Luckily I heard her meow under my bed and went there, bending carefully so I wouldn't hurt my son. She was shaking and her claws were firmly dug into the floor. "It's ok, come here" I held out my arms and she jumped at them. I smiled while she purred relieved; I wondered if she would get jealous when she knew that we were going to have a new guest in our room. I walked to meet Kriss again.

"America?" I hardly ever had heard Marlee crying; I got nervous and turn around to run to her.

"Oh by the Lord, Marlee! What happened? Are you alright?" I hugged her tight.

"It was horrible… they had never attacked this terribly…. I almost die…" I felt her desperate tears falling to my shoulders.

"It's over now, everything's alright…" I assured her.

"No, no… I don't know where he went! I cannot find him!" she said with a broken voice. She didn't know that we were in the same situation.

"We'll look for them together, ok? Try to keep calm, it'll only be worse if you don't…" even more tears fell down her cheek when she heard that I had said _'them'_ and not only '_him'._ I put my arm around her shoulders and took her with me to follow by Kriss wherever she was looking at the other.

'_The palace is giant, they could be anywhere… we just have to look more carefully'_ that was what I told myself to cheer me up, we had searched for so long and there was no clue of where could they be. I noticed that I just made Marlee get even more nervous so I decided to get us a bit distracted, taking also in consideration that she was as lost as I had been.

"Hey, I have news…" I tried to smile to her.

"You're going to banish Kriss?" she asked hopefully.

"No! Not at all! I'll explain that to you later but… first things first" Celeste meowed like telling me: _'what are you hiding from us?'_

"Just tell me that it isn't something bad or I'll hang myself from a tree" she begged, I chuckled a bit.

"It's the complete opposite thing…" I assured her, her shocked expression told me to continue without so much mystery.

"Oh, in this kind of times there can actually be good news? I don't buy that!" she answered.

"Well, don't believe it if you don't want to! But it's a hundred percent real" I said with a smile.

"Alright, tell me!" she gave up at her hurges of some gossiping.

"Prepare yourself, Marlee Woodwork…" I left Celeste in the ground and took Marlee's hands "You're going to be an aunt…" I said finally, she stopped breathing for a moment.

"What?" she said surprised.

"I'm pregnant, Marlee! Wake up!" we both started screaming crazily and she hugged me strongly.

"Really? How is this possible?" she was as euphoric as I had been when I found out.

"You'll have to ask Kriss if you want an answer for that…" I said, she scowled.

"What does the sassy witch in disguise have to deal with this?" she said and I giggle at her angriness.

"Everything, dear, everything…" it was true, I was the one who was pregnant but she was the one who had the entire situation in her hands.

"Why does she have to stick her nose in other people's troubles? Why does she always have to be in the middle?" she protested.

"You shouldn't speak so soon, if it wasn't for her we would all be dead… but I won't tell you the rest of it because we've had enough bad news for now" then we heard the noise of a shelter opening.

"Who is that?" Marlee asked standing in front of me, like also wanting to protect my unborn child.

"Darling?" said Carter coming out, Marlee let out an excited cry and ran to meet her husband. I felt a pain in my heart while watching them kiss as there was no tomorrow, and in that situation there might not have been. I left them alone so they could fix their terrible situation together, she didn't need me anymore, she had that missing part of her heart with her once again, but the question was: where was mine?

"…how could this happen?" Kriss yelled at the insides of another room, I approached her. I looked at the three helpers who were scared and worried.

"We couldn't stop him!" answered Mr. McAffle and I felt a cold sweat down my back, I knew that meant I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't believe it.

"Your task was to watch him and you…!" the doctor came running to us as he stopped Kriss words.

"Excuse me, princess. But we've got a message from Emperor Cho, it seems to be urgent!" she told me, I nodded and followed him to Maxon's office.

You could tell that someone had entered to get something there, and they left a little message for us. The projector was on but the screen was broken at the top. I didn't wait for the other to come and played the video.

_Greetings, princess. I think you must've guesses what's happening by now, but let me confirm your suspects: Half of your country has decided to leave your side and fight along with us to end with the unfair monarchy that had ruled them for so long. It's time for a change, highness, and you have decide if you want to live by giving us all what we want or to die trying, as simple as that. I don't reject letting you know what I think about you, but you must know that I'm not the only one who thinks that the life you're living now it's a mistake, or at least… the life you lived once, because we're not planning to give it back to you. _

_It's true that you were an important part of the royalty, you were needed once, but it should've been someone different, you have to face it! You weren't made to be a princess, and we have to change that, we have to make things right! And, by God I'm going to enjoy it._

_So, here's the thing. Your army has been imprisoned in new Asia and there's no way they can come to Illéa to try to defeat us, we're powerful, we're strong and we are firm, we'll do whatever we have to do to put an end to this, and we won't hesitate. The decision is completely in your hands. _

_I believe that you've tried to fool me, princess, and that was also a mistake. You tried to hide your kid by making another woman give me her child pretending to be the rightful prince? You must've known that it wouldn't work, we also have our people around your palace. So, now the proposal becomes a threat, but I'll be patient, I understand it takes time and I'll wait for it, I trust that the kid will come to New Asia with me as soon as he or she is born and I'll make sure you won't see the child ever again. And why would you have to do it if you don't want to…? Simple! Because your dear husband won't see the light of day ever again if you don't do it._

_I'll be waiting for your answer, if it's a yes we might have mercy on you, but if it's a no, Illéa will be gone in less than one second, I'll tell you where you can find me if there's need to. _

_And the next time, please try to comprehend that New Asia and Illéa will never be allies, especially not if you're pretending to be a leader._

The video ended, but the feeling of my hurt heart wouldn't go away as the tears burned down my cheeks. That man was the devil, but he was right, I should've known that peace would never exist if someone hates another someone.

"Does this mean that…?" asked Marlee. I took a deep breath and tried to reply.

"Yes, they have Maxon… and there's not much we can do to save him" I cried.

"Don't say that! There's always a way! I'll tell August about this…" began Kriss.

"No, we won't tell anything to anyone, it's no use… I can't sacrifice any more people because of this…" I don't know how I was able to talk, I wasn't breathing and my heart didn't seem to be beating anymore.

"And what should we do then?" she asked.

"I don't know…. I don't know anything… we'll end up losing anyways" I didn't care who was watching, I cried out loud. Marlee approached and touched my arm.

"There's always a solution, Mare" she assured me in tears.

"Of course there is, and if there's anyone who can think of solutions, that's you…" said Carter.

"What do you mean?" I said wiping my tears, I felt like drowning in them.

"You have an entire country waiting for you to say something, no matter what he says… you're still the princess, you're the head of Illéa and the people will hear whatever you say…" he reminded me.

"That's right, they trust in you and now we don't have Maxon to try to fix everything… it's time for you to stand still and choose what's best" said Kriss.

"We'll follow you" Marlee assured me "And we'll do whatever you tell us to. Because nobody can do what you do when it comes to braveness and justice".

'_The power is in front of you, but it's up to you to decide if you take it or not' _ that was what I thought when their words entered my mind.

"No more hiding, no more suffering… This time we'll fight" I said. Because now I had many reasons not to surrender.

**To be continued…**

_Dreamer._

Ok, a small comment because if I write too much I'll give too much spoilers! First, sorry for the delay, I've been really busy! Second, I apologize for making you suffer so much haha! And third, there you go! What you all (and America) most wanted! A royal baby will be born! Thank you for following the story and tell me whatever you thought about this shocking chapter! Love you all, bye!


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